When I first began studying women's history and issues over forty years ago, I read about a study where a group of researchers asked college men what was the worst thing that could happen on a date. The men said she could laugh at me. When they asked college women the same question, the women said he could kill me. Huge difference and it appears little has changed.
I didn't watch the tiktok; it sounded too disturbing. I did read the linked Moira Donegan article; it was quite disturbing.
This seems to be building up to be a pivotal moment in history. When men resort to anger, and violence, it's because that's the only resource they have left. It's a sign not of strength but of weakness. Take note of Vladimir Putin, for example.
But, just like with Russia, a death spiral unleashes a lot of collateral destruction. It might not be avoidable. I'm not sure how we achieve the triumph, but I'm pretty sure we must be not afraid. Which is of course much easier to say than to do.
I just go back to Silvia Federici’s Caliban and the Witch, where she makes it evident that terrorizing women was a crucial tool for setting up the capitalist patriarchy and was basically honed as a tool in empire building for the white male capitalist patriarchy later. It’s a bit like “follow the money.” Who is the fear of male rage performed for and who does it benefit?
I was reading about psychological safety when I received this and I feel like a nit-picky bitch for wanting to point out that safe and psychologically safe are different. I'm glad she's safe, I'm glad lots of us escaped to physical safety. But oooh boy do I wish boys and men/the patriarchy allowed us more psychological safety.
There is an excellent book called "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker who is a security specialist to large corporations. It was given to me when I was in my twenties and working for a home care provider in the Bronx. It's an easy read that helps people recognize threats and methods of manipulation used by predators toward their victims. I agree that it's horrible to have to know this type of information but it's also essential that we use all the tools we can to protect ourselves. I highly recommend it for women of all ages.
Thank You. I will be sharing it with family and friends, particularly ones with children of both sexes. I'm adding a note asking, "How are we going to stop this?"
It is absolutely horrible but you're right. The world will not be a safe place for women, or girls, not in our lifetimes, quite possibly never.
That doesn't mean we should ever stop fighting for positive change, and at least for better government, and better laws, and more inclusive officers of the law... but it is also our sad duty to prepare children for the world that is, not the world we'd want it to be.
When I first began studying women's history and issues over forty years ago, I read about a study where a group of researchers asked college men what was the worst thing that could happen on a date. The men said she could laugh at me. When they asked college women the same question, the women said he could kill me. Huge difference and it appears little has changed.
I didn't watch the tiktok; it sounded too disturbing. I did read the linked Moira Donegan article; it was quite disturbing.
This seems to be building up to be a pivotal moment in history. When men resort to anger, and violence, it's because that's the only resource they have left. It's a sign not of strength but of weakness. Take note of Vladimir Putin, for example.
But, just like with Russia, a death spiral unleashes a lot of collateral destruction. It might not be avoidable. I'm not sure how we achieve the triumph, but I'm pretty sure we must be not afraid. Which is of course much easier to say than to do.
I just go back to Silvia Federici’s Caliban and the Witch, where she makes it evident that terrorizing women was a crucial tool for setting up the capitalist patriarchy and was basically honed as a tool in empire building for the white male capitalist patriarchy later. It’s a bit like “follow the money.” Who is the fear of male rage performed for and who does it benefit?
I was reading about psychological safety when I received this and I feel like a nit-picky bitch for wanting to point out that safe and psychologically safe are different. I'm glad she's safe, I'm glad lots of us escaped to physical safety. But oooh boy do I wish boys and men/the patriarchy allowed us more psychological safety.
There is an excellent book called "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker who is a security specialist to large corporations. It was given to me when I was in my twenties and working for a home care provider in the Bronx. It's an easy read that helps people recognize threats and methods of manipulation used by predators toward their victims. I agree that it's horrible to have to know this type of information but it's also essential that we use all the tools we can to protect ourselves. I highly recommend it for women of all ages.
ugh, ain't it the truth.
Thank You. I will be sharing it with family and friends, particularly ones with children of both sexes. I'm adding a note asking, "How are we going to stop this?"
It is absolutely horrible but you're right. The world will not be a safe place for women, or girls, not in our lifetimes, quite possibly never.
That doesn't mean we should ever stop fighting for positive change, and at least for better government, and better laws, and more inclusive officers of the law... but it is also our sad duty to prepare children for the world that is, not the world we'd want it to be.