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Rosalind 🍁's avatar

Okay, thanks Dave Abbott et.al. I think I understand everything now. It’s terrible how those forced sex education classes lied to us, causing a lifetime of confusion and wrong thoughts.

So this is it: the woman has essentially nothing to do with the creation of life. She is just happy to provide a ball of juices for the sperm to roll around in while it grows bigger, mainly spending its 52 weeks pondering its future while stroking its face and masturbating.

If the woman isn’t happy to participate in this process she can always go to emergency and have the ball cleaned out with a rape kit. Or maybe she is happy except when it becomes uncomfortable and then the fetus can always be taken out and inserted somewhere else. No women ever die during this time, that’s just a lie woman tell to get sympathy or because they are forever dithering and changing their minds and being overly dramatic.

Then when the sperm has grown too big for the ball it decides to come out. But 52 weeks is such a long time, so the father may have wandered off and the woman enjoyed the process so much she now gladly spends the next eighteen or so years of her life feeding, clothing, housing, and educating his child while working two or three minimum wage jobs to be able to afford it. And though she may insist that she can only afford to raise one child, men have ways of convincing her she is mistaken and then she is happy to go through it all again.

Thanks everyone for correcting my misguided notions that women are entitled to joy.

Please note, in case anyone is confused, this is what satire looks like. Please don’t feel any need to correct the above information. If nothing seemed incorrect to you, please get educated.

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RS's avatar

Good fucking gravy there a lot of men who want to find a way to be able to rape women with impunity.

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