142 Comments

I let go an incredibly toxic person from my department at work and the energy shift is palpable and so refreshing.

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I started my first job post-college at Vogue last week. One of my bosses is really tough but on Tuesday she told me she loved my outfit LOL. i’ll take it !!

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Earlier this week I fell apart. Yesterday I took a whole day to take care of myself, which is something I've always scoffed at. I took a yoga class, went to the naked lady spa, got tacos, and picked my kid up early to take him to ice cream. This morning he came into my bed and I looked at his sleeping face and just knew (eventually) it's going to be OK.

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A colleague told me everyone thinks I'm doing an amazing job at work! I'm in a selective, somewhat elitist environment, so every bit of praise on this teacher-raised, state-school educated gal is appreciated.

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author

Amazing! Keep it up :)

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My father recently had another small stroke and had to go into a nursing home (bad). I am all tied up trying to get my family's home repaired after a freak hailstorm back in April. Thankfully, my older brother and younger sister have swooped in to help make sure our parents our being cared for.

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author

I'm so very sorry about your dad, but glad that you have some support from your siblings. Caring for aging parents is no joke, and you should make sure to take some time to take care of yourself as well <3

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I had my first paid essay published yesterday on McSweeney's and reading how many people related to my little funny take on raising a preschooler has brought me so much joy!

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Today I found a parking spot right outside my apartment building (a miracle here in Richmond) and FLAWLESSLY parallel parked in it on my first try (yet another miracle.)

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author

Ahhh when this happens in NYC is a true miracle as well. Congrats ;)

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Last week I hosted my no-longer-estranged-due-to-family-drama-trauma cousin and her new wife. SO good to reconnect with her after decades and find out how much we have in common. Both survivors of the same disturbing family tree. Both queer. Both love pistachios. Love her so much <3

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author

Amazing!

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I ate delicious watermelon for lunch and for once all the clean laundry is in my drawers rather than in piles at the foot of my bed 😂

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author

Heaven.

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I just got back from a two week trip to Japan and LA bit more importantly, I finally saw Spider-Man far from home aka TEEN SPIDER-MAN

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two weeks in Japan is literally game changing. Liked it so much when I did it last year, doing it again in November!

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author

I am jealous of all of these good things lol

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I spent yesterday evening watching the sunset in California. My grandmother, who recently passed away lived for sunrises and sunsets. These moments always remind me of her.

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author

This is so lovely.

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

So everytime I see 'Eat Me' in the subject line of my inbox (only a few weeks, admittedly, but yay for those few weeks!), for a split second it makes me go 'Whaaaa?' and then in another split second I realize 'Oh yay! It's stuff from Jessica!' I mean, like we're pals now and you're just emailing me again. :-)

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I always go “Rude! Oh wait.”

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author

this makes me so happy!

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I found out today that I get a few days off between finishing a summer job and starting a new job. Double one good thing... an abundance of jobs and time to chill ✨ 💕

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author

YES for days off!

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AnonymousJul 16, 2019

When I muttered "look at the state of me" as I caught a glimpse of my reflection after a stressful day at work...and my six-year old son immediately said "you're always beautiful Mum". Heart melted right there xx

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You can always count on kids to see the real you <3

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The very good and delicious pork loin and potatoes I made for dinner last night was just as delicious for lunch this afternoon as I read emails and a book.

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author

Oof that sounds good

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I'm seeing Carly Rae Jepsen on Sunday!

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author

!!!!

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

I had an early morning swim at a very quiet beach with my dog and we might just do it again tonight!

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author

This sounds incredible!

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The fact that after reading this I realize how many good things I have to choose. Thank you!

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AnonymousJul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

Me too- we don't think about all the good things often enough!

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author

You're so welcome - honestly, this thread and the last one I did have brought me so much joy

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

Most mornings, we wake up to find our beloved 55-lb dog, Rosie, laying sideways at the foot of the bed, leading at least one of us to have, in our sleep, curled into the fetus position for lack of leg room. This morning, she instead had laid down in between us. Everyone got in on a group snuggle and everyone got to straighten their legs.

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author

FAMILY CUDDLE

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

I'm 33.5 weeks pregnant with my first-- after several years of trying and several rounds of fertility treatments-- and got to see baby's face (cute little nose) in profile on an ultrasound yesterday. And I just went through the bin of adorable newborn clothes that a friend lent me, and there's so much tiny sweet things that I can't wait to dress the baby in. It's getting real!

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Ooh! That's a lot! Best to you!

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AnonymousJul 16, 2019

How wonderful for you!! Xx

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author

EEK! Congratulations!

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I just had an amazing taco for lunch. Now I'm ready to get back to work. #tacos4life

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author

I am still searching for the perfect taco in brooklyn... v jealous of you right now!

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

Here for any Brooklyn taco recommendations.... :)

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

I'm in Minneapolis. If you're ever in town, Bar Luchador or Centro for the win.

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I am also in Mpls and still looking for taco refs, so noted!

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Made pizza from scratch (well, just the sauce and dough) and not only did it turned out amazingly great, but my husband was so proud that he showed pictures to everyone at his work.

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author

I LOVE making pizza from scratch - it is so satisfying. Did you go with the straight margherita or something different?

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Actually, I made 5! -wasn’t sure how it would go so I made extra dough. Margarita, pepperoni, veggie, extra cheese, pepperoni again.

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author

!!! That is commitment!

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**did it turn out**

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I bought a wedding dress! When I tried it on to show my parents, they both cried a little from happiness. My dad hugged me and said, “You look happy, and happy looks good on you.” :)

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I'm going to borrow this phrase - new favorite compliment! Also yay for you and your wedding dress!

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author

"Happy looks good on you" is pretty much the best thing I've ever heard. Congratulations!

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I’m dog sitting again for two of my favorites ❤️👌

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author

GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS ARE THE BEST

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They really are <3!

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I get to start teaching in a few weeks, and hopefully influence the next generation of voters and politicians.

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Yes! Need more great teachers!

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author

YES! Raise those kids right

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Received the loveliest text message from my cousin last night after I sent him an anniversary card. He and his husband have been together for 25 years and married for six. Our family isn't terribly accepting, so yay for love!

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Yay for love!

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author

Love is the number one ‘one good thing’ ❤️❤️❤️

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I took a new job for a less pay and more piece of mind. I am extremely anxious about the financial aspect but where I am currently I am surrounded by men that have trump posters in their cubicles and are just generally awful to be around. Even if I have to find a side hustle I *know* this will be better for me. The stress is killing me.

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Whew ... a clear lesson in the fact that VALUE and WORTH have a lot of different meanings. Yay for you prioritizing the meanings that matter!

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

I recently did the same thing, though the old environment was toxic in other ways, and I had to move to a completely new city, but two weeks in, and I already am 100% glad I made the change!

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Super appreciative for all the kind words! It helps to know that it has worked out for others, it felt like a step backwards and was a tough decision for me.

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Congrats on your new job. Early in my career, I took the job with less pay for greater job satisfaction, and it was WONDERFUL. Changed my entire life for the better. Wishing you the same.

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Thank you so very much!

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author

It sounds like a really difficult decision but your mental and emotional well-being are worth A LOT. Good luck!

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Thanks so much! I’m started to relax and be happy about it.

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Sent my manuscript edits off to my publisher! And my anxious dog (scared of big trucks, of which there are many where I live) successfully walked past a dump truck without losing her mind - progress!!

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author

Congrats on both counts - especially that manuscript 👏

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

my adorable cat <3

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author

Ugh pets make everything better 😍

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yesss :)

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I just saw an American Bittern - from a birdwatching perspective this is huge for me :-)

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author

I am nor a bird-watcher but I just googled this one and it looks amazing - congrats!

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

This newsletter. Getting to go home to dogs

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

Good for you for mentioning the newsletter. It's the best.

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author

<3

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My friend's older dog doesn't have a lot of time left, so we're going on a road trip to give her some fun sights, experiences, and smells while she can still enjoy them. She's such a great doggo and my friend has given her a long, happy life... it should be a special trip.

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author

Every dog should have a bucket list trip! How kind and amazing.

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My 5 year old daughter skinned her knee pretty good on Saturday and we were putting some ice on it when her 9 month old brother came over and cried with her and put his hand on hers. It’s really sweet how deeply they care for each other.

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author

That's incredible - seeing empathetic kids is a surefire mood-lifter. How wonderful

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I'm taking a week off of wine and I feel great! Not sure that's good news. lol

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author

Ha, well let us know in a week! ;)

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

I have just had an hour and a half of time all by myself. Summer is rough for my introverted self, especially bc my partner is a teacher so it’s not just my 5 year old underfoot but him, too so these moments of aloneness are precious to me.

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author

So glad for you! I'm the same, I really need alone time and with a kid, especially, it's so precious.

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I'm really scared about a big move but I think it might be the making of me? Also, does anyone have a spare room in London for me?

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

Let me know if you need any general London advice! I live here and it's great :)

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Thank you so much - please advise. I'm on Twitter @theflooddefence ♡

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author

Oooh exciting! The best piece of advice I was ever given is that any decision worth making is going to make you feel like throwing up. So sounds like you're on the right path!!

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

I needed that! Thank you ♡

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I’m currently sitting poolside in Pasadena. Life is good!

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author

That sounds *wonderful*. We went to a friend's house this weekend who has a pool and it was incredible restorative.

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To be honest, medical marijuana. It has soothed my chronic pain and severe anxiety. I know not everyone approves, but it is a gift. Truly.

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I'm right here with you on this!! Self care, no judgement, the rest of the world will catch up... or not :)

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Pain and anxiety ARE REAL THINGS and you're soothing them as you need to. Well done. Peace.

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author

WELL I APPROVE! Yay for some soothing blunts x

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

Thanks, Jessica. That actually means a lot.

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Really feeling myself for making a half-sour/half-sweet cherry version of this recipe: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/3783-original-plum-torte

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author

Oh wow that looks so good! I may have to try this one...

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Took my 10 year old to get her ears pierced. She's so, so happy and I only sort of freaked out (internally!).

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author

Oh man, I'm thinking about this with my almost-9 year old and am similarly freaked. Does she like them?

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

You'd think she invented it. She is over the moon, feeling so grown-up, taking responsibilty for keeping them clean. All good things.

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author

That's amazing!!

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Recently, my 10 year old was at camp and his pals began talking about a certain celebrity who just came out of the closet. They laughed about it and made jokes, but my son shut it down and told them not to tease someone about their sexuality. As awful as the world is right now, this kind of behavior gives me hope for the future.

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author

Look at you, raising an incredible person!

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Someone bought donuts into the office today

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author

I mean, that's like 12 good things

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Update on last thread. My 15-year-old and I have made fresh sourdough bread a few times since last writing. Watching this one make something from scratch -- from feeding the starter to the kneading, to the overnight rising, to the baking -- and then take so much joy in devouring it is really something.

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Oy. Sourdough bread is my favorite. And 15 year olds taking joy in things is pretty great too.

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Baking with your children is a gift that they (and you) will always remember and treasure.

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author

Oh man, this sounds so good. With all the cooking I do, I'm ashamed to say I've never made bread. You may have just given me the kick in the ass I needed!

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Freshly baked bread is the absolute best!

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We moved a year ago and I’m still looking for a job. I heard from one of my references that I should be getting a job offer soon!

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YAY!!!! All my fingers and toes crossed for you.

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My toddler is a fierce, determined little one. She's not going to take any shit from bullies and I'm so grateful for that... even though she's a handful.

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author

YES! Strong-willed toddlers can be difficult but so amazing to know how well it will serve her in the future <3

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I love this Substack thing. It's such a great Marianne is old school blogging and newsletters.

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author

I'm *really* loving it

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

I mowed my lawn and my neighbor's lawn this morning before it got too hot and humid, so now no one has to think about it for hopefully another two weeks or so! Plus all my marigolds are just running rampant and smelling really fresh.

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Aww, good on ya, Anton!

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author

First of all, that's so nice of you! Second of all, flowers are like the ultimate mood-charger. Awesome

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My best friend is en route traveling to see me from Paris - haven’t seen her in over a year !!

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author

Ahhh this is amazing! Have fun with her!

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

I finally got my period after having my stillborn daughter in April, so now my husband and I can try again <3

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Oh my, Em. What a thing. And here I am at 48, as I say "not using those parts for their mechanical purposes", and cursing once a month (I would say like clockwork, but it isn't, which also makes me cuss. TMI. Sorry!). Thanks for the perspective, on the ways it can be seen as blessing. Every good wish to you and your husband.

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Thanks Courtney <3 It definitely has put things in perspective for me too!

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so Sorry for your loss- wishing you the best.

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Thank you :) <3

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

I am so sorry to hear that. I cannot even imagine. I had a D&C last May after a miscarriage and remember waiting so impatiently for my period because I wanted to start trying again. It was such a long wait. Hope you’re on the road to health and that you get your beautiful rainbow baby.

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I'm sorry for your loss too, Hannah. Thank you for your kind words <3

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

Sending you warm thoughts and the strength to try again!

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Thanks Gwen <3

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author

Condolences on your loss - wishing you so much love and health. <3

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Thank you so much <3 Love this substack!

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My job is slowly destroying my soul but my daughter’s well-being and happiness make up for it all.

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author

Sorry about the job, but so glad about your daughter. How old is she?

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Jul 16, 2019Liked by Jessica Valenti

She’s 8 1/2, and a native New Yorker like you :)

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author

Ahhh! My daughter is turning 9 next month. This age is SO MUCH FUN

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