Cognitive dissonance and wilful dismissal and rejection of facts... we have a terrible struggle laid out before us. The Republicans (and I'm sorry to admit that included my father, who was otherwise really very much a feminist but who voted for Nixon both times, then died before Watergate blew up) have allowed themselves to be co-opted and their playbook is alarmingly similar to the opportunistic manipulation embraced by Leninist-Stalinists, and that's a doctrine of a totalitarianism, full stop. They're like a sofa full of cockroaches abd somebody brought it into the house because they thought it looked good.
Yes, this. I find myself actually hoping a lot of these complicit and enabling right wing women will die of pregnancy complications and maybe it would be a wake up call to the motherless children and other family members and friends they leave behind. I know that’s wrong, but it’s how I feel. I have no forgiveness for anyone who votes Republican at this point and that sadly includes a lot of once-beloved relatives who no longer have a place in my life.
I’ve known several women who married and converted to fundamentalist Christian sects that told them they’re less than men and their only purpose is to serve men and produce more (preferably male) children.
I always found it mind boggling that they could so easily become subservient to men who were almost always less intelligent and talented then they were. It seemed like such a waste. How could they give up the freedom and opportunities that society had (finally) provided.
But of course that’s the thing. Fundamentalism may have a looney theology, but it always excels at brainwashing.
I don’t think it is coincidental that the fundamentalist sects of every major religion and most authoritarian governments treat woman like subservient status-less conveniences. The men who follow these dogmas need to feel superior and all powerful. That requires people to play the inferior role. Women are the easy target because giving birth and caring for young humans makes us feel vulnerable. Pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen was the sixties’ feminist rallying cry and it is obviously the vision many males still have. The women who follow the men who follow their ideal of marital bliss are just as damaged and insecure.
It’s also not a coincidence that virtually all of these fundamentalist patriarchal religions and sects have major sexual abuse problems. When you think your god tells you you’re superior to women and children and they are essentially property, then abusing them is your right.
I agree there's no coincidence. I think that for those who give birth and care for young humans, to also be free individuals themselves, is one of the most socially advanced concepts there is, and that makes it one of the greatest threats to those, mostly (but not always) men, who seek to exert control over others, and so those systems always depend on keeping women deeply subordinate.
Thank you for channeling my rage. This morning I was getting upset about the women I knew (all professionals) who voted for Trump and not Clinton. I think women particularly who are equivocal about abortion rights are a bigger problem then those her are avidly anti abortion because they are seen by the wider society as being “moral” and “good” and those who are for abortion rights are portrayed often as “selfish bitches”. And abortion rights is seen as taboo to talk about because it is “controversial” but that limits organizational potential if we don’t know who is on our side and prevents it from being seen as a moral imperative.
I suppose we haven't always found the right way to message support for abortion. It's too often been portrayed as a necessary evil - the equivocating you're talking about - rather than just as a normal part of health care. I think the intent was to be sensitive to everyone's different beliefs about human life, but the result has been to make the other side's argument easier. And the people we're up against don't return our sensitivity and humility. They rather don't seem to care if women die, and a lot of them even seem to think it's some kind of glorious sacrifice.
I can only hope that the debate will be reframed now that states are free to enforce these ghastly laws that -will- kill women. It's tragic if that's what it takes to get the messaging right, but we need to find a way to fix this and do it in a way that will hold for generations to come.
I think we need to reframe it as a moral issue, an issue of womens rights and humanity and not an issue of just choice like we are choosing between Thai and Chinese food. The right has understand this and claimed themselves “pro life” and we for the most part have let them.
Thank you for naming what many of us felt when we saw photos of women celebrating the end of Roe. What was even more disturbing is how young many of them were. I can’t help but assume these women were identifying with their abusers in some way. I also hate that conservative outlets gave these photos as much play as the ones of women and men demonstrating against the decision.
Without diverting the conversation too much, I’d love if you would write about how we can ensure that our ad dollars don’t go to those conservative outlets like Fox News. There’s a site called Checkmyads that explains how this works. It’s a good way to become aware of how Fox News gets much of their income. Thanks again!
I'm guessing they're identifying with a role of woman as self-sacrificing childbearer, and think there's some nobility or glory in forfeiting their own lives in that pursuit. Jessica had a good piece a little while back that was sort of about that idea.
Thank you for this, Jessica. I'm hesitant about making these arguments myself, because it feels like going after the women when men are still the fundamental problem in the world. But women who, for whatever reasons, are willing to enslave other women, and themselves too, make everything much much harder, because they're providing cover that the men very much need to keep patriarchy systems in place.
We need fearless truth tellers now more than ever. The research shows that Americans - of all sexes - are poorly informed about pregnancy, abortion, and everything else concerning women's biology. The messaging is of the utmost importance. I don't know how many women will have to die for a large enough bloc of Americans to care enough to end this nightmare.
I live among them, and I'm surrounded by women who have been brainwashed into their extremely sincere belief that life begins at conception. They truly believe the life of the mother comes second. It's disheartening and disturbing and frustrating, but the truth is, many of them don't understand the argument you're making, because "LIFE".
I really feel this. One way I relate to this is that I am an Indian-American and I’ve had to watch for years as Indians in our diaspora ingratiate themselves to right wing white people partly out of an innate racism toward fellow (darker) Indians, I.e. our still existing caste system and partly out of a belief that they are viewed as the white’s preferred minority. It is stupefying to watch brown people cozy up to out-in-the-open white male oppressors for kudos, cash and comfort within this wretched hierarchy. Which is all to say that it leaves one especially hollow to see this type of allyship fail and shows the enduring psychological grip that the promise of power holds on individuals. It makes intersectional allyship that much more critical because we cannot take for granted that the oppressed won’t become collaborators to their own oppression. As usual thanks for spotlighting this insight!
Hell yes to this. My empathy is expired too. But I'm also trying to reconcile my rage with Michelle Goldberg's recent piece about taking a lesson from the anti-choice movement and working to "draw in" these women, the way they've recruited [formerly] pro-choice young women for years. Do we really need to do this, and if so, HOW?
Frankly, what they do is play on guilt, and some inner weak spot. They manipulate and lie, or switch things around and omit what isn't handy. I don't hope this is an attractive option. I watched someone fall prey to this. It's horrifying.
'draw someone in'... the difference lies in abdicating one's responsibility for one's own choices, passing it over to another's authority. The real question is how to present the matter as it is, in a world now driven to a shocking degree by social media: that this is about removing women's rights to make their own choices about their own lives, to actually enslaving them. And 'abortion' is the thin end of the wedge.
I agree. Not the path I want to take. My strong instinct is not to deal with the anti-choice folks at all. I once tried to engage personally with a group of Catholic college students who come weekly to my town to protest our Planned Parenthood. Told them about my abortion as a teen, asked about pregnancy after a teen girl is raped (as i was) -- and got the same pat, packaged answers, some of them utterly ignorant about female reproduction and our systems of care.
Those prepackaged answers are the clue- maybe the it's the weak chink in the chain. I just realised, as I read your reply, it is a point at which they can be queried: why do you abdicate this responsibility to others, to let others make decisions for you, and use you as tools for their agendas, to impose their agendas through you onto others, to create subjects of other human beings for their profit? (I'm just thinking aloud, not implying it's for you to do this.) Itoo have been terrified by the brainwashing, by the looks in their eyes, by the resurgence of women doing men's bidding. They see some reward in the doing, something that has no grip on me.
Excellent question, Diana! I have no freaking idea, but am grateful for Jessica’s community here so I can wrap my head around the unbelievable mess all women are currently in.
I wish there was someone like you running for the Dems in a senate race…I’d campaign for you. I commend your bravery for writing the truth
Cognitive dissonance and wilful dismissal and rejection of facts... we have a terrible struggle laid out before us. The Republicans (and I'm sorry to admit that included my father, who was otherwise really very much a feminist but who voted for Nixon both times, then died before Watergate blew up) have allowed themselves to be co-opted and their playbook is alarmingly similar to the opportunistic manipulation embraced by Leninist-Stalinists, and that's a doctrine of a totalitarianism, full stop. They're like a sofa full of cockroaches abd somebody brought it into the house because they thought it looked good.
Yes, this. I find myself actually hoping a lot of these complicit and enabling right wing women will die of pregnancy complications and maybe it would be a wake up call to the motherless children and other family members and friends they leave behind. I know that’s wrong, but it’s how I feel. I have no forgiveness for anyone who votes Republican at this point and that sadly includes a lot of once-beloved relatives who no longer have a place in my life.
My empathy has fucking expired too. My rage will fuel my commitment to justice for ALL women, even the traitors
I’ve known several women who married and converted to fundamentalist Christian sects that told them they’re less than men and their only purpose is to serve men and produce more (preferably male) children.
I always found it mind boggling that they could so easily become subservient to men who were almost always less intelligent and talented then they were. It seemed like such a waste. How could they give up the freedom and opportunities that society had (finally) provided.
But of course that’s the thing. Fundamentalism may have a looney theology, but it always excels at brainwashing.
I don’t think it is coincidental that the fundamentalist sects of every major religion and most authoritarian governments treat woman like subservient status-less conveniences. The men who follow these dogmas need to feel superior and all powerful. That requires people to play the inferior role. Women are the easy target because giving birth and caring for young humans makes us feel vulnerable. Pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen was the sixties’ feminist rallying cry and it is obviously the vision many males still have. The women who follow the men who follow their ideal of marital bliss are just as damaged and insecure.
It’s also not a coincidence that virtually all of these fundamentalist patriarchal religions and sects have major sexual abuse problems. When you think your god tells you you’re superior to women and children and they are essentially property, then abusing them is your right.
I agree there's no coincidence. I think that for those who give birth and care for young humans, to also be free individuals themselves, is one of the most socially advanced concepts there is, and that makes it one of the greatest threats to those, mostly (but not always) men, who seek to exert control over others, and so those systems always depend on keeping women deeply subordinate.
Thank you for channeling my rage. This morning I was getting upset about the women I knew (all professionals) who voted for Trump and not Clinton. I think women particularly who are equivocal about abortion rights are a bigger problem then those her are avidly anti abortion because they are seen by the wider society as being “moral” and “good” and those who are for abortion rights are portrayed often as “selfish bitches”. And abortion rights is seen as taboo to talk about because it is “controversial” but that limits organizational potential if we don’t know who is on our side and prevents it from being seen as a moral imperative.
I suppose we haven't always found the right way to message support for abortion. It's too often been portrayed as a necessary evil - the equivocating you're talking about - rather than just as a normal part of health care. I think the intent was to be sensitive to everyone's different beliefs about human life, but the result has been to make the other side's argument easier. And the people we're up against don't return our sensitivity and humility. They rather don't seem to care if women die, and a lot of them even seem to think it's some kind of glorious sacrifice.
I can only hope that the debate will be reframed now that states are free to enforce these ghastly laws that -will- kill women. It's tragic if that's what it takes to get the messaging right, but we need to find a way to fix this and do it in a way that will hold for generations to come.
I think we need to reframe it as a moral issue, an issue of womens rights and humanity and not an issue of just choice like we are choosing between Thai and Chinese food. The right has understand this and claimed themselves “pro life” and we for the most part have let them.
Thank you for naming what many of us felt when we saw photos of women celebrating the end of Roe. What was even more disturbing is how young many of them were. I can’t help but assume these women were identifying with their abusers in some way. I also hate that conservative outlets gave these photos as much play as the ones of women and men demonstrating against the decision.
Without diverting the conversation too much, I’d love if you would write about how we can ensure that our ad dollars don’t go to those conservative outlets like Fox News. There’s a site called Checkmyads that explains how this works. It’s a good way to become aware of how Fox News gets much of their income. Thanks again!
I'm guessing they're identifying with a role of woman as self-sacrificing childbearer, and think there's some nobility or glory in forfeiting their own lives in that pursuit. Jessica had a good piece a little while back that was sort of about that idea.
YES
Thank you for this, Jessica. I'm hesitant about making these arguments myself, because it feels like going after the women when men are still the fundamental problem in the world. But women who, for whatever reasons, are willing to enslave other women, and themselves too, make everything much much harder, because they're providing cover that the men very much need to keep patriarchy systems in place.
We need fearless truth tellers now more than ever. The research shows that Americans - of all sexes - are poorly informed about pregnancy, abortion, and everything else concerning women's biology. The messaging is of the utmost importance. I don't know how many women will have to die for a large enough bloc of Americans to care enough to end this nightmare.
I live among them, and I'm surrounded by women who have been brainwashed into their extremely sincere belief that life begins at conception. They truly believe the life of the mother comes second. It's disheartening and disturbing and frustrating, but the truth is, many of them don't understand the argument you're making, because "LIFE".
I really feel this. One way I relate to this is that I am an Indian-American and I’ve had to watch for years as Indians in our diaspora ingratiate themselves to right wing white people partly out of an innate racism toward fellow (darker) Indians, I.e. our still existing caste system and partly out of a belief that they are viewed as the white’s preferred minority. It is stupefying to watch brown people cozy up to out-in-the-open white male oppressors for kudos, cash and comfort within this wretched hierarchy. Which is all to say that it leaves one especially hollow to see this type of allyship fail and shows the enduring psychological grip that the promise of power holds on individuals. It makes intersectional allyship that much more critical because we cannot take for granted that the oppressed won’t become collaborators to their own oppression. As usual thanks for spotlighting this insight!
Hell yes to this. My empathy is expired too. But I'm also trying to reconcile my rage with Michelle Goldberg's recent piece about taking a lesson from the anti-choice movement and working to "draw in" these women, the way they've recruited [formerly] pro-choice young women for years. Do we really need to do this, and if so, HOW?
Frankly, what they do is play on guilt, and some inner weak spot. They manipulate and lie, or switch things around and omit what isn't handy. I don't hope this is an attractive option. I watched someone fall prey to this. It's horrifying.
'draw someone in'... the difference lies in abdicating one's responsibility for one's own choices, passing it over to another's authority. The real question is how to present the matter as it is, in a world now driven to a shocking degree by social media: that this is about removing women's rights to make their own choices about their own lives, to actually enslaving them. And 'abortion' is the thin end of the wedge.
I agree. Not the path I want to take. My strong instinct is not to deal with the anti-choice folks at all. I once tried to engage personally with a group of Catholic college students who come weekly to my town to protest our Planned Parenthood. Told them about my abortion as a teen, asked about pregnancy after a teen girl is raped (as i was) -- and got the same pat, packaged answers, some of them utterly ignorant about female reproduction and our systems of care.
Those prepackaged answers are the clue- maybe the it's the weak chink in the chain. I just realised, as I read your reply, it is a point at which they can be queried: why do you abdicate this responsibility to others, to let others make decisions for you, and use you as tools for their agendas, to impose their agendas through you onto others, to create subjects of other human beings for their profit? (I'm just thinking aloud, not implying it's for you to do this.) Itoo have been terrified by the brainwashing, by the looks in their eyes, by the resurgence of women doing men's bidding. They see some reward in the doing, something that has no grip on me.
Excellent question, Diana! I have no freaking idea, but am grateful for Jessica’s community here so I can wrap my head around the unbelievable mess all women are currently in.
I'm starting to sound like a broken record but: amen.
Me too...