If we 'share' this to somebody who is not a subscriber, are they able to access/read it? I just talked to a few people after the debate about how their college-age sons are simply not going to vote. They don't 'get it', how important this election is... because their rights have not been stripped away. Many are angry about Palestine. And worried about Biden's old age. (And surely bots are filling their social media pages & reinforcing these views, so they become even more anti-Biden.) How can we get more men to see that 'not voting' is a vote for Trump? A vote for dictatorship and rolling back women's rights. Surely their sisters, girlfriends, cousins, other women/girls in their lives deserve better? For many women, abortion is THE issue! Because OUR lives are on the line. We need more ways to reach men so they get on board.
This could be the year I cut my dad out of my life for good, if he continues to vote Republican. It’s truly a gut punch realizing your dad cares more about his gun rights than the rights of his daughter.
I think a lot of men (and women) don't even realize that abortion is banned in their state or could be banned in all states in the future. Or they have resources, so they know that their wife or daughter could go out of state if necessary. Or their family is complete (vasectomy, tubal ligation, menopause, long-term birth control) and don't think it is an issue for them. That said, I want more people to think about the people who do not have resources, who will be having more babies than they can afford, possibly without family or a spouse for support. This will make it harder for these families to get out of poverty or stay out of poverty and that is bad for everybody. My husband knows about abortion bans because I talk about it ALL the time. That said, he was mortified by efforts to ban birth control. We have three adult children. We do not want our children to have babies before they are ready, and we are realistic enough to not expect them to wait until marriage to have sex. Also, we want our daughters to have options with birth control that work best for them. Maybe the pills available don't agree with them and they'd prefer an IUD or an implant so they don't have to think about taking the pill every day. They shouldn't be denied choices because other people think it is wrong to use an IUD or the morning after pill or to have an abortion. How do we get the guys more engaged? I guess it just takes more education. Talk to your husbands and get your daughters to talk to their friends, boyfriends, and their dads. Every single pregnancy is the result of a man and a woman. It is not just a woman's issue.
I'm just going to say everyone needs to read "Looking for Jane" by Heather Marshall. Such a powerful (fictionalized) look at fighting for the rights of woman to control our bodies. Choosing to continue pregnancy or not. All of the political and societal constraints placed on women. A particularly powerful novel.
Well said!!! I will post and share! In addition I also have yet to read a single word on what MEN can do to prevent unwanted pregnancies by their use of birth control, rather than always making it the woman's responsibility.
Just posted on Facebook a “Dear Dads” Father’s Day message asking the men, “Are you a protector?” Asking if they will vote for someone who will fight for their daughter’s health and well-being. Also posted picture of my husband at the Abortion Rally in Scottsdale, AZ, stating this is what protecting your daughter looks like. Thank you, Jessica for the ideas, you are doing important work.
Exactly this. We need more men to speak up - to normalize that men can (and should) call out the injustice. That they can (and should) be outraged. They can be feminists. Not just for daughters and wives, but for humankind.
Speaking up is great, but men need to do more than call out injustice for all of humankind. All of the injustice is coming from Republicans; more men need to volunteer to elect Democrats. Since 2017, women have carried a disproportionate burden of the fight against Trump and MAGA. Men need to MAN UP -- and here's a new initiative to help them figure out where to plug in: https://www.grassrootscollaboration.org/man-up-initiative/#
The MAN UP initiative launches on Tuesday evening, 8-9 pm ET. Come learn more at https://bit.ly/ManUp24
How far are Republicans from creating a real-world Handmaid's Tale? What can you do to stop them? Check this map of sex related crimes by men in positions of power (police officers) in states that ban abortion and the MAGA politicians behind these policies. See for yourself in "Don’t Become A MAGA Handmaid In The Republican War On Women"
Powerful message. I wish the news carried more interviews with the husbands, lovers and fathers. I have spoken to male professionals, doctors, contractors, etc., and it always made them more believing when my husband spoke in support of what I was saying. I don’t like that this is true, but it’s the world we live in.
Twenty percent of pregnancies end with a miscarriage. That is a pretty big number and, let’s face it, a lot of blood. Yet women are expected to take themselves to a doctor or ER or suffer for hours sitting on a john. If the blood won’t stop, you go to the ER where a pro-birth absolutist refuses to do a D&C because they are anti-abortion. They refuse to save you and you die. And the law says they broke no laws because they have sincerely held religious beliefs. Maybe your family sues them for malpractice, maybe not because civil suits and lawyers are expensive. No dead woman ever delivered a living child. You know who is living? Six members of the Supreme Court.
Great column, JV! Men don't seem to comprehend what's going on w/the abortion issue unless it personally impacts them (sadly, too many women as well.) They are not the enemy- just incognizant about menstrual cycles & how pregnancy occurs. My own husband of 48 years is a bright, educated man who was a real carousing horn-dog back in the day...any woman-anytime she's willing type...he was quite lucky in the pre-Roe era not to face an unwanted pregnancy w/a girlfriend/hookup. He still remains clueless about OBS/GYN issues & whatever else is "up there."
Men assume women know what's going on GYN-wise. They rely upon their partners to know how to take care of what's necessary in that dept. Our sons also rely upon their female spouses now & all of the men in my family are fully supportive of whatever women need to do - they just don't read up on it, or understand the complexities.
I was "the condom fairy" who stocked condoms in the boys nightstands from the moment we suspected they might be active. We both had "the talk" w/them re condoms, withdrawal & not solely relying upon a girl/woman being on BC methods...never had any issues w/them in that regard, but now they rely upon their wives to know what's going on "up there." Point being - I think a gift sub is a great Father's Day idea & I commend you, Jessica! I hope it can make a difference w/some men, but I fear this will still mostly fall upon girls/women. Onward & upwards, JV, and back to the future - you are truly heroic...try to relax & enjoy this glorious summer weekend (depending upon your locale.)
Thank you for sharing. Two things: 1) if marriage-age plus 48 and still willfully ignorant doesn't make you the enemy, it doesn't make you an ally, either. 2) He may well have caused an abortion in the pre-Roe era, and she just took care of it unsafely, without his help, as may of us may be forced to do soon.
Unfortunate u chose to focus on extraneous minutia instead of my (obvious) major point. I won't re-explain as it's right in front of you. Your confirmation bias is on display, Shana.
I have thought so many times how the ownership of this issue is just as much male as female and thought this was beautifully articulated. Happy Father’s Day indeed’
As a trans feminine person who presented as a cis male for decades, I have a brief bit of advice to any and all men about to post their #NotAllMen "defense."
I've had decades of access to male dominated spaces and male privilege. We all know what those spaces can be like. Do yourself a favor and stop centering yourself and being defensive. Think about how much more powerful it would be to post #WayTooManyMen
Check out https://www.men4choice.org/
If we 'share' this to somebody who is not a subscriber, are they able to access/read it? I just talked to a few people after the debate about how their college-age sons are simply not going to vote. They don't 'get it', how important this election is... because their rights have not been stripped away. Many are angry about Palestine. And worried about Biden's old age. (And surely bots are filling their social media pages & reinforcing these views, so they become even more anti-Biden.) How can we get more men to see that 'not voting' is a vote for Trump? A vote for dictatorship and rolling back women's rights. Surely their sisters, girlfriends, cousins, other women/girls in their lives deserve better? For many women, abortion is THE issue! Because OUR lives are on the line. We need more ways to reach men so they get on board.
This could be the year I cut my dad out of my life for good, if he continues to vote Republican. It’s truly a gut punch realizing your dad cares more about his gun rights than the rights of his daughter.
I think a lot of men (and women) don't even realize that abortion is banned in their state or could be banned in all states in the future. Or they have resources, so they know that their wife or daughter could go out of state if necessary. Or their family is complete (vasectomy, tubal ligation, menopause, long-term birth control) and don't think it is an issue for them. That said, I want more people to think about the people who do not have resources, who will be having more babies than they can afford, possibly without family or a spouse for support. This will make it harder for these families to get out of poverty or stay out of poverty and that is bad for everybody. My husband knows about abortion bans because I talk about it ALL the time. That said, he was mortified by efforts to ban birth control. We have three adult children. We do not want our children to have babies before they are ready, and we are realistic enough to not expect them to wait until marriage to have sex. Also, we want our daughters to have options with birth control that work best for them. Maybe the pills available don't agree with them and they'd prefer an IUD or an implant so they don't have to think about taking the pill every day. They shouldn't be denied choices because other people think it is wrong to use an IUD or the morning after pill or to have an abortion. How do we get the guys more engaged? I guess it just takes more education. Talk to your husbands and get your daughters to talk to their friends, boyfriends, and their dads. Every single pregnancy is the result of a man and a woman. It is not just a woman's issue.
I'm just going to say everyone needs to read "Looking for Jane" by Heather Marshall. Such a powerful (fictionalized) look at fighting for the rights of woman to control our bodies. Choosing to continue pregnancy or not. All of the political and societal constraints placed on women. A particularly powerful novel.
So well written. So right on point.
Well said!!! I will post and share! In addition I also have yet to read a single word on what MEN can do to prevent unwanted pregnancies by their use of birth control, rather than always making it the woman's responsibility.
Just posted on Facebook a “Dear Dads” Father’s Day message asking the men, “Are you a protector?” Asking if they will vote for someone who will fight for their daughter’s health and well-being. Also posted picture of my husband at the Abortion Rally in Scottsdale, AZ, stating this is what protecting your daughter looks like. Thank you, Jessica for the ideas, you are doing important work.
Exactly this. We need more men to speak up - to normalize that men can (and should) call out the injustice. That they can (and should) be outraged. They can be feminists. Not just for daughters and wives, but for humankind.
Speaking up is great, but men need to do more than call out injustice for all of humankind. All of the injustice is coming from Republicans; more men need to volunteer to elect Democrats. Since 2017, women have carried a disproportionate burden of the fight against Trump and MAGA. Men need to MAN UP -- and here's a new initiative to help them figure out where to plug in: https://www.grassrootscollaboration.org/man-up-initiative/#
The MAN UP initiative launches on Tuesday evening, 8-9 pm ET. Come learn more at https://bit.ly/ManUp24
agreed. thanks for the link.
How far are Republicans from creating a real-world Handmaid's Tale? What can you do to stop them? Check this map of sex related crimes by men in positions of power (police officers) in states that ban abortion and the MAGA politicians behind these policies. See for yourself in "Don’t Become A MAGA Handmaid In The Republican War On Women"
https://thedemlabs.org/2024/06/15/dont-become-a-maga-handmaid-in-the-republican-war-on-women/
Powerful message. I wish the news carried more interviews with the husbands, lovers and fathers. I have spoken to male professionals, doctors, contractors, etc., and it always made them more believing when my husband spoke in support of what I was saying. I don’t like that this is true, but it’s the world we live in.
Unfortunately those guys are insecure, or they would just be a protector. They wouldn't wear a macho shirt to "virtue signal". They are phonies.
Twenty percent of pregnancies end with a miscarriage. That is a pretty big number and, let’s face it, a lot of blood. Yet women are expected to take themselves to a doctor or ER or suffer for hours sitting on a john. If the blood won’t stop, you go to the ER where a pro-birth absolutist refuses to do a D&C because they are anti-abortion. They refuse to save you and you die. And the law says they broke no laws because they have sincerely held religious beliefs. Maybe your family sues them for malpractice, maybe not because civil suits and lawyers are expensive. No dead woman ever delivered a living child. You know who is living? Six members of the Supreme Court.
Great column, JV! Men don't seem to comprehend what's going on w/the abortion issue unless it personally impacts them (sadly, too many women as well.) They are not the enemy- just incognizant about menstrual cycles & how pregnancy occurs. My own husband of 48 years is a bright, educated man who was a real carousing horn-dog back in the day...any woman-anytime she's willing type...he was quite lucky in the pre-Roe era not to face an unwanted pregnancy w/a girlfriend/hookup. He still remains clueless about OBS/GYN issues & whatever else is "up there."
Men assume women know what's going on GYN-wise. They rely upon their partners to know how to take care of what's necessary in that dept. Our sons also rely upon their female spouses now & all of the men in my family are fully supportive of whatever women need to do - they just don't read up on it, or understand the complexities.
I was "the condom fairy" who stocked condoms in the boys nightstands from the moment we suspected they might be active. We both had "the talk" w/them re condoms, withdrawal & not solely relying upon a girl/woman being on BC methods...never had any issues w/them in that regard, but now they rely upon their wives to know what's going on "up there." Point being - I think a gift sub is a great Father's Day idea & I commend you, Jessica! I hope it can make a difference w/some men, but I fear this will still mostly fall upon girls/women. Onward & upwards, JV, and back to the future - you are truly heroic...try to relax & enjoy this glorious summer weekend (depending upon your locale.)
Thank you for sharing. Two things: 1) if marriage-age plus 48 and still willfully ignorant doesn't make you the enemy, it doesn't make you an ally, either. 2) He may well have caused an abortion in the pre-Roe era, and she just took care of it unsafely, without his help, as may of us may be forced to do soon.
Unfortunate u chose to focus on extraneous minutia instead of my (obvious) major point. I won't re-explain as it's right in front of you. Your confirmation bias is on display, Shana.
I thought the same.
I'll simply reiterate the same as I responded to Shana (above.) Try to delve a bit deeper, Natalie. Wishing u the best.
I'll simply say I agree with the rest of your post, and I certainly hope you are correct in your assesment.
I have thought so many times how the ownership of this issue is just as much male as female and thought this was beautifully articulated. Happy Father’s Day indeed’
As a trans feminine person who presented as a cis male for decades, I have a brief bit of advice to any and all men about to post their #NotAllMen "defense."
I've had decades of access to male dominated spaces and male privilege. We all know what those spaces can be like. Do yourself a favor and stop centering yourself and being defensive. Think about how much more powerful it would be to post #WayTooManyMen
Thank you for this. Your perspective is so needed and valuable. Thank you.
This.