78 Comments

It's our (men) job to support and fight for women's rights. We can not be silent. I have a wife, daughter and a granddaughter that I will fight to protect...whatever it takes

Expand full comment
founding
Aug 26·edited Aug 26

https://boltsmag.org/how-pregnancy-is-policed-your-questions-answered/

When trump says he will veto a national ban bill (which we all know is a lie) someone should follow it up with a question, 'what will he do with all the states that are instituting draconian bans?'

Expand full comment

It absolutely is a LIE that he’s telling very conveniently just to try to win back some of the white, suburban, female voters. We know he will drop that facade asap if he should win.

Every time I see someone on SM put forth that argument, that “Trump said he would not support a national abortion ban,” I call it out for the lie that it is.

Expand full comment
founding

Agree. He is not serious about any of this stuff meaning he does not care. He will do anything to win for the grift and the protection that comes with the Office. His evil minions will carry out their own agenda and he will rubber stamp it and take a cut from any grift if there is material benefit. He is one mfer that never should have been elected in the first place. The country will pay for its people's sins in 2016 for a long time.

Expand full comment

I’m so steamed about the way they pounced on Gus. You know what? I had no idea he had any kid of learning disability. I just thought, wow, he’s so proud of his dad! As the daughter of a Republican, bigoted dad who basically made his sons hate him (me, not as much, but it was so embarrassing to be with him when he talked in front of other people), I was thinking huh, I guess it’s sour grapes to see someone whose child doesn’t just want to disown him, much less express any kind of affection for him. Their vision of what a child/father relationship should look like is so warped. Not to mention, I took his enthusiasm as just as “normal" as the way I see men getting emotional and cheering on their football teams. It just looked like male enthusiasm!

Expand full comment

Sadly, the Republican attack on men that they don't deem "masculine" enough appears to be aimed at insecure men, often young men, who are just beginning to define themselves.

The message is "You don't want to be like them. WE (and people like us) will mock and taunt you mercilessly if you don't meet our standards for faux masculinity!"

More than anyone, young men need to see other men who model a healthy masculinity and an alternative version of real strength.

Expand full comment
founding
Aug 24·edited Aug 24

How many saw the moment where Warren was moved to tears at the DNC? And who shattered her dreams and millions of her supporters'? This man, Bernie Sanders,( watch as he pushes the woman's hand away in disdain after encroaching her space @4:00 on Bill Maher), did more harm to stop the two women we had any prospect of getting elected while his own was next to nil. While we talk about the toxic masculinity of trumpers, what about the mostly white male supporters of Bernie's on this side of the ledger?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XZ0Ct5wePQ

Expand full comment

Padma, This was an 11-yo video clip, but I view the damage as the amount of space the men feel comfortable taking up (encroaching on her nonexistent space) as well as the conversation between only the two of them as if the lady from Huff post sitting between them isn’t even present. They never ask her for her thoughts or opinions, because they both agree (culturally, without discussing it because this is how institutionalized sexism works-they’re both already operating from a paradigm in which the female is able to be ignored) they’re in the club of “white men who will make decisions amongst themselves.” I hope that 11 years later (today) men would be called out for this behavior. Kudos to the host, Bill Maher for directly addressing the woman.

Expand full comment
founding

Yeah the BS clip is from 11 years ago and agree with your comment. But in the video, he gets angry or irritated that the woman objected to his incursion and he did not change (from that behavior) as we saw in his campaigns from 2016 the way he treated Hillary and in 2020 the way he treated Warren. Notice how quickly he reconciled with Biden. BS personifies anti-woman and his supporters, a subset of those who supported Obama in 2008 follow suit. I hope KH this time around gets better results with these men and she just might because we are in dire circumstances even one that they will understand.

Expand full comment

Great piece, Jessica. I know many good men who are disgusted with the toxic masculinity proffered by the GOP.

Expand full comment

I have been saying this for years and whenever I have the opportunity. Every time the forced birth party makes some archaic statement of male hegemony, I think of the absolutely amazing men I know. Men who support women and who are loving nurturing and strong role models to boys and men and my god they need them.

Expand full comment

Preach!

Expand full comment

Regarding my post re masculinity, it would be great if you would add an idea about how to project this issue and advocacy into the battlefield of public argument, especially into the Independent and Republican man-o-spheres.

Expand full comment

It is progress, slow, but we are reprogramming a nation gone backwards, and even the good) men have noticed it sucks, to see women be told what they can do with their bodies.

Expand full comment
founding

Is media part of toxic masculinity in some way? Because I am noticing that one of the things Kamala has been able to do whether intentionally or because of the suddenness of her candidacy is not give media fodder to make a caricature out of her and set the narrative. They might still do it but we are more than aware to fall for it.

Expand full comment

I think it is wise that she hasn’t spoken with MSM They are part of the problem. They misreport, don’t follow through and I feel like the owners have strings on what actually is printed in an article. Hope she stays away until after the election. She doesn’t need them in my opinion.

Expand full comment

Yes, the MSM are in the tank for trump, and always have been since 2015. He is outrageous, and we doomscrolled incessently when he was president. They gave him thousands of dollars in free coverage, even going so far as to not print, that he was being investigated for connections to Russian oligarchs by the FBI. (thanks, fucking NYT) They harped on nothingburger "but her emails" (who would have thought her riosotto recipe was a crime?) counting on that idiots would never read them. I did, there was bupkis. The media relentlessly pushed Benghazi, to where the idiots who believe propaganda still believe it was her fault, it was not.. And they riled up the toxic Bernie Bro contingent, by printing endless "Bernie was robbed!" stories.

In conclusion, the media is a huge poart of catering to, and pushing toxic masculinity. The progressive women, and men writers seem almost tokens, are few and far between.

Expand full comment

I didn’t know Gus was neurospicy, or his age on Wednesday night. I just saw a beautiful expression of pride and love in a young man for his father. I love everything Jessica said in this post about showing a positive masculinity.

Expand full comment

Amazing post, as usual. I'd like to mention what I see as Walz's only flaw, as it plays into these ideas: his strong identity, as you mention, as a hunter. I don't see the intentional killing of non-human animals in our time and place as a mark of cultural pride and masculinity as much as an outdated and unnecessary violence. I'm hopeful that he--and we--will scrutinize and eschew this practice as he has scrutinized and eschewed so many antiquated practices that show a dangerous disrespect for living beings and the natural world.

Expand full comment

I wish for that too. I’ve been vegan for about 6 yrs & a vegan friend from CA texted me shortly after Harris’ VP pick & was expressing her dismay over the photo of Walz holding the dead pheasant. I just tried to reassure her that chances are quite high that every other male on the potential list was either a hunter or a fisherman, & that at least his daughter doesn’t eat meat & therefore perhaps she can gradually influence him to change.

I take heart that there are so many more vegans now than 20-30 yrs ago & it’s no longer seen as strange. Being vegan or at least mostly plant based has become much more accepted & main stream. We are progressing. 😊

Expand full comment
founding
Aug 23·edited Aug 23

So much is made of pronouncing her name. The correct (if we go by Sanskrit which is the language it is derived from) pronunciation is equal emphasis on all three syllables, Ka-ma-la. But here when we have a 3 syllable word, the emphasis goes to the middle one and therefore, a long 'ma' (and also the a in Ka becomes /æ/). With my name, the two syllables Pa-dma get equal emphasis in India but here it is Paa-dma. Even I have started saying Paa-dma just from hearing more of it. Incidentally, both words mean lotus. And Indians in India who like to make up catchy phrases are saying "Kamala in India means LOTUS but in America, Kamala means POTUS.'

Kamala (if she were Nikki Haley) would have changed it to Cumilla, LOL (my cousin in Canada was named Cumilla but all our relatives in India thought it was Kamala, nice slight of hand there).

Majority Indian-origin people are in the rust belt and all the way down to Texas. Maybe they will vote in big numbers. All that matters is that Democrats win!

Expand full comment

Interesting. Thanks for sharing. I’m in Texas so I hope they vote in big numbers here. We need it. 💙

Expand full comment
founding

The map in this tweet has immigrant origin stats.

https://x.com/Locati0ns/status/1825012331048317232

Expand full comment

Thanks for the link it’s fascinating! I know there is a lot of diversity in Houston. Happy about that. There is a huge Mosque being build down the street from my home. It’s taking up a whole city block. It makes me happy to see that. Diversity is a wonderful thing.

Expand full comment

I agree with this article and am very hopeful with Harris/Walz. I am, however, struggling with our role in genocide in Palestine, and funding this century's Hilter. No "great country" does that. I am voting for Harris. But the control of the US by Israel is frightening and disheartening, and just keeps me from celebrating. We need to see the whole picture...not whitewash.

Expand full comment

Rachel, the Repub. pushers are Evangelicals who are trying to make real their prophecy of Armageddon. The sad reality is that there are two maximalist faction: one in each society, Israeli and Palestinian. "Maximalist" means "all the land for my side and zero for your side." The UN proposed a two-state solution in 1947. The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem rejected it; Ben-Gurion accepted. The initial Israeli losses in the 1973 invasion of Israel so disgraced the Labor Party-military regime that Likud came to power in the subsequent election. Then the maximalist Israeli faction commenced its aggressive campaign. Amongst the Palestinians, the Egyptian-based Muslim Brotherhood helped to establish Hamas in Gaza. Its Charter calls for the extinction of Israel. What small interest in a two-state solution existed before the October 7th invasion is now de minimus in light of all the horrors, understandably. Both Sinwar and Netanyahu understand this is an existential fight and wish to finish it. The civilians are the "martyrs" (sacrificial lambs). Hamas fighters use Gaza civilians as their camouflage, moving with them when ordered to a temporary "safe" zone. Reunite fighters with caches of weapons and small wonder that areas "previously cleared" reignite with fresh fighting. (And don't forget the tunnels-for fighters only.) Apparently, the sides are stuck over Israeli demands on controls over resumption of weapons smuggling into Gaza and shifting arms from Southern Gaza into Northern Gaza, an easier launch point for new attacks back into Israel. In light of October 7th and Sinwar/Hamas intent, Israel would be willing to suspend its counter-attack against Sinwar/Hamas only if can have these controls over weapons/munitions into Gaza. Sinwar wants a long-term "truce" (time to re-arm for the next round) and no Israeli controls to prevent resupply of arms for Hamas, et al. WHAT IS TO BE DONE? Long-term: Both societies must repudiate their maximalist factions. It took about 140 years for Christians to tire of murdering each other; the Treaty of Westphalia (1648) helped. Short-term: I'm a blank. Sorry. If I have some details wrong, my apologies - feel free to comment.

Expand full comment

It is their right wing cabinet, and Netanyahoo (who wants to stay out of jail) who must be deposed, they are evil, and need to be stopped, they are endangering the whole planet trying to kill the palestinian people, using the shitty Hamas actions as their excuse, and putting Jewish people around the world who hate what they are doing, in jeopardy. Unfortunately they are a sovreign country, and we cannot stop them. We need a firm hand to bring them to the ceasefire table. If we controlled congress we might be able to not give the weapons of aggression, unfortunately the repubs use their kickbacks to get elected, so they always vote to give them more money, for aggressive weaponry. They should of course be able to get defensive weaponry.

Expand full comment

Natalie, read my reply to Rachel and let me know your thoughts.

Expand full comment