I was recently saying that I had no problem with people pitying me when my husband died and left me broke, bereft, traumatized and homeless. I’m not too good for pity. And I’m not too proud for victimhood. Yes, I’ve been sexually harassed and assaulted, and I’m both a victim and a survivor. I thank the people who took pity on me when I needed it, and I don’t need approval from people who thought I was brave when I picked myself up. If anything, I’m too proud for approval. I don’t survive so that people can pat me on the head. I write and illustrate about my experiences because I hope to help other people make sense of their own experiences, and feel less alone. My writing is meant to recreate the sisterhood that we lost when we all began cooking and cleaning in our own private little worlds, instead of meeting at the market or at the river, or at the village oven to exchange stories and knowledge with our fellow women from multiple generations. And my survival makes me equal to everyone, not better or lesser. So, please just treat me like anyone else, or perhaps treat everyone else with a little more empathy and respect?
I have some very similar thoughts on "strong" and "resilient". Labels can act as a barrier to support (because if you are brave you must be "over it") while also centring the view of the receiver of the story (who cannot imagine going through any thing like that).
I was recently saying that I had no problem with people pitying me when my husband died and left me broke, bereft, traumatized and homeless. I’m not too good for pity. And I’m not too proud for victimhood. Yes, I’ve been sexually harassed and assaulted, and I’m both a victim and a survivor. I thank the people who took pity on me when I needed it, and I don’t need approval from people who thought I was brave when I picked myself up. If anything, I’m too proud for approval. I don’t survive so that people can pat me on the head. I write and illustrate about my experiences because I hope to help other people make sense of their own experiences, and feel less alone. My writing is meant to recreate the sisterhood that we lost when we all began cooking and cleaning in our own private little worlds, instead of meeting at the market or at the river, or at the village oven to exchange stories and knowledge with our fellow women from multiple generations. And my survival makes me equal to everyone, not better or lesser. So, please just treat me like anyone else, or perhaps treat everyone else with a little more empathy and respect?
I have some very similar thoughts on "strong" and "resilient". Labels can act as a barrier to support (because if you are brave you must be "over it") while also centring the view of the receiver of the story (who cannot imagine going through any thing like that).
Thank you for this.