So your posts this week hits particularly close to what I experienced last week. :-( I will simply copy and paste my FB post about it because I needed to process my experience it.
This post is going to be a mixed one, so head's up.* Yesterday afternoon, I witnessed one of the most violent crimes I have ever seen and I hope I will never have to witness anything like that again. I will try to avoid the gory details, but let's just say I now know what it means when people say that they keep having images of an event "flash" before them in their head. The short story is that when I was leaving Heinen's yesterday (Lee and Chagrin), I saw a horrific and deliberate hit and run accident where an older woman was run over at high speed. And I do mean deliberate, violent force.
So why am I posting about this? Because I also experienced at the same time the incredible kindness and generosity of strangers. With shock and adrenaline pumping through all of us, we instantly stopped and ran to the victims aid. I called 911. With the aid of the other witnesses I was able to give a good enough description of the car, and the driver was arrested within minutes. Until the ambulance arrived, good people had rushed to this poor woman's aid to offer appropriate comfort without medical compromise, we couldn't risk moving her body, and fortunately there was no need for CPR. Tbh, I hope she will survive. After seeing what I saw, I now fully comprehend the term "internal bleeding."
After watching something so deliberately violent, I was also relieved at the time to see so many good, genuine souls helping out and doing the right thing. I spent a lot of time later yesterday afternoon reflecting upon the fragility of life. The upshot: Mr. Rogers was right. Always look for the kind and good people. They will be there to help you. ❤️❤️❤️"
I trained in first aid as part of my job. Never used it at work but, like other commenters, have used abdominal thrusts three times on my choking husband and once on a small child. After the first time my husband now stands in front of me when choking.
If offered a free first aid course, take it. It isn’t necessarily a stranger whose life you will save. I was stunned at those in my workplace who tried to refuse the responsibility of training despite our legal requirement to have at least one person on duty trained in first aid, which because of our hours and number of part time staff, meant everyone.
When that piece of food pops out across the room, the relief is exhilarating.
First, the Heimlich maneuver is NO longer the recommended treatment for conscious choking victims per the Red Cross. So don't do that unless you have actual training like Jodi the commenter below who is an EMS/Firefigher. Link to Red Cross article - https://www.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/red-cross-revises-tips-for-helping-choking-victims/Content?oid=2130835 If someone is choking and you are untrained like me (even though I have dreamed of the day when I would get to perform the Heimlich) you hit the choking person on the back. Whether or not your average person is ready for an emergency depends on the life they have led. Unluckily, I had a very violent childhood. This means I lived in an emergency a lot of the time. Can I handle an emergency? With aplomb, having called 911 enough times to get thrown out at 15, but fewer times than I should have. I doubt my ability to function in an emergency is something humane people should want to replicate, but plenty of children grow up in similar conditions.
I trained as an EMS and Firefighter and I'm glad to have that training. Some years ago I was out to lunch with a client who choked and I had to use the Heimlich on him.. The french fry that lodged in his throat came out like a projectile missile onto another table. He was completely embarrassed and we had just started our meal. Strangely enough he never worked with me again. I never understood that. Life saving techniques should be required in school so we all have some basic training.
I’ve had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on my husband more than once. One of those times was after he’d gained weight and my arms didn’t have the same leverage; he had to help me push my fists under his rib cage. That was the scariest one (and it’s terrible that I have to count the times I’ve done it). To this day when he makes a strange noise, I go into high alert mode.
I haven’t practiced CPR since high school in the 1980s. I should brush up on that….
Jessica, I'm proud to say I saved my husband's life with Heimlich. The secret is to ask, "are you choking?" They can't answer, but can usually convey, "yes."
I got certified in cpr back in 09 when I realized I was in a commuted relationship with a man 19 years older than me. But it’s true, I could probably use a refresher course. It would be great if refreshers were included in the initial course, and reminders sent out.
I don't do it anymore, but I trained and volunteered as an EMT some years ago, and knowing I can jump in and Do the Thing is one of the great joys of my life. It's not just helping the person who's in trouble, but helping all the bystanders, too. It's like a secret superpower! Taking a good first aid + CPR class (the Red Cross does good ones, and probably your local fire department does, too) is something I cannot recommend highly enough, even for the timid. It really helps - Seattle has the highest rate of heart attack survival in the country, and it's because everyone and their dog is constantly offered free CPR classes - at work, at church, at the park, at their local bar, whatever.
And one more thing: nobody should worry about doing bad CPR - good CPR cracks plenty of ribs, and multiple studies have shown that even bad CPR produces better results than no CPR at all. Plus, if someone with good CPR sees you doing it poorly, they'll butt in and take over from you. And if there's an AED defibrillator handy, go ahead and turn it on and the machine will tell you what to do - it won't shock someone unless they really need it! No worries! Do your best! You're helping!
It's complicated. I worked in a hotel for the homeless for almost 18 year, and each year we had (repeat) first aid courses, including CPR. Our instructors always told us we shouldn't feel guilty if we couldn't save someone, because
A) a course will never be a substitute
B) even ambulance workers needed refresher courses.
This stuff is really hard - and even after all these years I felt incompetent, even though I actually had to do some of what we practiced at work and was lucky each time I didn't mess it up.
Part of what makes it hard to actually help someone in a real crisis, that our body/brain knows that it is a crisis, so that it basically starts yelling at us, which isn't helpful for anything else than fight or flight.
An example. We also had twice yearly fire drills. We would do our exercises and most of the time we would perform well, but at the end of such an afternoon we would repeat one of these exercises but this time with the noisy fire alarm going off - and although we had already done the same exercise shortly before and although we knew there was no fire, that sound still fucked us up so badly that we did make mistakes.
So I'll repeat what our very experienced instructors always told us: 'Try to help but don't beat yourself up if you fail. This shit is really hard and even professionals* don't find it easy.
*Apart from dedicated crisis teams but they are like specialist commandos: almost freakishly good at what they do.
So your posts this week hits particularly close to what I experienced last week. :-( I will simply copy and paste my FB post about it because I needed to process my experience it.
This post is going to be a mixed one, so head's up.* Yesterday afternoon, I witnessed one of the most violent crimes I have ever seen and I hope I will never have to witness anything like that again. I will try to avoid the gory details, but let's just say I now know what it means when people say that they keep having images of an event "flash" before them in their head. The short story is that when I was leaving Heinen's yesterday (Lee and Chagrin), I saw a horrific and deliberate hit and run accident where an older woman was run over at high speed. And I do mean deliberate, violent force.
So why am I posting about this? Because I also experienced at the same time the incredible kindness and generosity of strangers. With shock and adrenaline pumping through all of us, we instantly stopped and ran to the victims aid. I called 911. With the aid of the other witnesses I was able to give a good enough description of the car, and the driver was arrested within minutes. Until the ambulance arrived, good people had rushed to this poor woman's aid to offer appropriate comfort without medical compromise, we couldn't risk moving her body, and fortunately there was no need for CPR. Tbh, I hope she will survive. After seeing what I saw, I now fully comprehend the term "internal bleeding."
After watching something so deliberately violent, I was also relieved at the time to see so many good, genuine souls helping out and doing the right thing. I spent a lot of time later yesterday afternoon reflecting upon the fragility of life. The upshot: Mr. Rogers was right. Always look for the kind and good people. They will be there to help you. ❤️❤️❤️"
The psychology of pluralistic ignorance is fascinating & terrifying
I trained in first aid as part of my job. Never used it at work but, like other commenters, have used abdominal thrusts three times on my choking husband and once on a small child. After the first time my husband now stands in front of me when choking.
If offered a free first aid course, take it. It isn’t necessarily a stranger whose life you will save. I was stunned at those in my workplace who tried to refuse the responsibility of training despite our legal requirement to have at least one person on duty trained in first aid, which because of our hours and number of part time staff, meant everyone.
When that piece of food pops out across the room, the relief is exhilarating.
First, the Heimlich maneuver is NO longer the recommended treatment for conscious choking victims per the Red Cross. So don't do that unless you have actual training like Jodi the commenter below who is an EMS/Firefigher. Link to Red Cross article - https://www.sevendaysvt.com/vermont/red-cross-revises-tips-for-helping-choking-victims/Content?oid=2130835 If someone is choking and you are untrained like me (even though I have dreamed of the day when I would get to perform the Heimlich) you hit the choking person on the back. Whether or not your average person is ready for an emergency depends on the life they have led. Unluckily, I had a very violent childhood. This means I lived in an emergency a lot of the time. Can I handle an emergency? With aplomb, having called 911 enough times to get thrown out at 15, but fewer times than I should have. I doubt my ability to function in an emergency is something humane people should want to replicate, but plenty of children grow up in similar conditions.
I trained as an EMS and Firefighter and I'm glad to have that training. Some years ago I was out to lunch with a client who choked and I had to use the Heimlich on him.. The french fry that lodged in his throat came out like a projectile missile onto another table. He was completely embarrassed and we had just started our meal. Strangely enough he never worked with me again. I never understood that. Life saving techniques should be required in school so we all have some basic training.
I’ve had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on my husband more than once. One of those times was after he’d gained weight and my arms didn’t have the same leverage; he had to help me push my fists under his rib cage. That was the scariest one (and it’s terrible that I have to count the times I’ve done it). To this day when he makes a strange noise, I go into high alert mode.
I haven’t practiced CPR since high school in the 1980s. I should brush up on that….
Jessica, I'm proud to say I saved my husband's life with Heimlich. The secret is to ask, "are you choking?" They can't answer, but can usually convey, "yes."
I got certified in cpr back in 09 when I realized I was in a commuted relationship with a man 19 years older than me. But it’s true, I could probably use a refresher course. It would be great if refreshers were included in the initial course, and reminders sent out.
I don't do it anymore, but I trained and volunteered as an EMT some years ago, and knowing I can jump in and Do the Thing is one of the great joys of my life. It's not just helping the person who's in trouble, but helping all the bystanders, too. It's like a secret superpower! Taking a good first aid + CPR class (the Red Cross does good ones, and probably your local fire department does, too) is something I cannot recommend highly enough, even for the timid. It really helps - Seattle has the highest rate of heart attack survival in the country, and it's because everyone and their dog is constantly offered free CPR classes - at work, at church, at the park, at their local bar, whatever.
And one more thing: nobody should worry about doing bad CPR - good CPR cracks plenty of ribs, and multiple studies have shown that even bad CPR produces better results than no CPR at all. Plus, if someone with good CPR sees you doing it poorly, they'll butt in and take over from you. And if there's an AED defibrillator handy, go ahead and turn it on and the machine will tell you what to do - it won't shock someone unless they really need it! No worries! Do your best! You're helping!
It's complicated. I worked in a hotel for the homeless for almost 18 year, and each year we had (repeat) first aid courses, including CPR. Our instructors always told us we shouldn't feel guilty if we couldn't save someone, because
A) a course will never be a substitute
B) even ambulance workers needed refresher courses.
This stuff is really hard - and even after all these years I felt incompetent, even though I actually had to do some of what we practiced at work and was lucky each time I didn't mess it up.
Part of what makes it hard to actually help someone in a real crisis, that our body/brain knows that it is a crisis, so that it basically starts yelling at us, which isn't helpful for anything else than fight or flight.
An example. We also had twice yearly fire drills. We would do our exercises and most of the time we would perform well, but at the end of such an afternoon we would repeat one of these exercises but this time with the noisy fire alarm going off - and although we had already done the same exercise shortly before and although we knew there was no fire, that sound still fucked us up so badly that we did make mistakes.
So I'll repeat what our very experienced instructors always told us: 'Try to help but don't beat yourself up if you fail. This shit is really hard and even professionals* don't find it easy.
*Apart from dedicated crisis teams but they are like specialist commandos: almost freakishly good at what they do.