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The most cruel part of these “exceptions” for rape victims is the requirement to involve the police. There a new doc out “Victim/Suspect” on how the police all too often criminalize assault victims, pressuring or tricking them into recanting and charging them with making false reports instead of investigating the crime. A young woman trying to access an abortion “exception,” will be under even more suspicion and may well end up in jail and still pregnant.

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May 24, 2023·edited May 24, 2023

Yes. It’s an outrage. Further traumatizing the victim. This aspect of the bans makes my blood boil.

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I swing from being convinced we’re plunging into a sort of semi permanent dark age to thinking this will go like Prohibition went and end with a massive counter swing back toward women’s rights with an ERA and constitutional abortion access to take it out of the hands of the courts and psychotic state law makers. But even in a best case scenario thousands of women will die needlessly for the lesson to be learned. Conservative women are going to be burying their daughters before they get it through their thick skulls that they’ve really screwed up here.

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This isn't 1972. Mifepristone and abortion funds are a game changer. This is only going to affect millennials and gen z who are still in their childbearing years. These are generations that there's no way in hell they're going to just sit back and let the state fuck them over. There will be casualties no doubt but it won't be anything like it was pre-Roe.

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The problem is this constitution favors states over voters, whether it's the composition of the senate or the process for amendments. It takes massive majorities to overcome that, which is why we really need to scrap it and start over. Barring that it may take a decade or two for things to change, but it will eventually because the younger generations are having none of this. That is if the planet is still habitable in a decade or two.

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First… please support pro-choice legislative candidates in VA. IF Rs take over the legislature this Nov., there will be an awful domino effect for women in WV, NC & SC, who can still travel to VA in a day. Maybe support Planned Parenthood in VA as they plan to handle the increase for healthcare headed their way.

How many have heard of the National Abortion Federation? I found it tonight & am learning. It’s the professional association for abortion providers. We must stand with & support providers.

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Another South Carolinian here. I’m not surprised. I knew they would not stop until they achieved this abominable outcome. I’ve been awake all night (living in Spain at the moment) with another panic attack, and I’m 54. Nobody can force me to be pregnant now. But because of my life experience, I’m gutted for anyone who can be pregnant.

We must keep fighting. If everyone leaves these states, who will fight? I get that argument.

But I also refuse to return to the theocratic, Christian Taliban world of my upbringing. I fought for 2 decades to deprogram myself and have the life I want. I will not go back. I’m telling young people I love to avoid my state and others like it. I’m preparing to leave for good myself, because I know how bad this will get before it starts to get better.

Sorry this is disjointed. Between hyperventilating, raging and crying, it has been a long night.

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We drove from AZ to CA recently and my husband turned to me after we crossed the Colorado River and said, “Oh. Hello. I didn’t see you there. Welcome to a state where you are valued as a whole and complete person.” He was right.

Makes my blood boil! So frustrating! Cruel! Unnecessary! Arrrrgh!!! 🤯

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South Carolinian here. I’m devastated.

I’m so tempted to leave, but then who will fight for those who can’t wage the war for themselves? It’s so hard.

Thank you, as always, for your diligent reporting.

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You are entitled to live your life as freely as possible. We laud the Jews who escaped Nazi Germany as much as the ones who were trapped and had to fight for their lives. Both were resisting an unspeakably evil regime as best as they personally could. Don’t think humanity would have benefitted if Einstein had died taking up arms as a resistance fighter instead of ending up safely in Princeton.

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Good point.

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It only really affects someone if they decide to get pregnant or risk getting pregnant. I decided not to have kids after all this went down and I'm pretty confident in my copper IUD to cover me for the next ten years and tubal ligation is still an option. I'm going to stay in the fight for now with that confidence.

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Yeah it's just that being biological sex female and of childbearing age IS risking being pregnant, unless one's been sterilized or has a birth control method that's 100%. Abstinence doesn't work because the same people who are pushing these laws are rape apologists.

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All of that is certainly true which is why I keep abortion pills on hand to keep my bases covered which is good for five years. Not sure what will happen five years from now but might be in menopause by then.

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I don't know what to tell the people of the red states. It's going to be a while because the federal government is in no shape to liberate you yet, and our rotten constitution is designed to keep it that way.

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I’m so sorry for the women south of the Mason-Dixon Line and west of the Ohio River. PA is the last stop where women are somewhat protected from sexually obsessed men.

This obsession with women’s uterus’s in this day and age is a mental illness.

It’ll be years before women regain bodily autonomy again. I’m 65 and I can’t stand this! Where is the outrage?

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I’m 62 and I hate this. I had a legal abortion at 22. So grateful ❤️ The only thing that keeps me going is all the young people in this fight. I look at them and am so thankful for their efforts energy and tenacity.

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While this news came in I was watching the Physicians for Reproductive Healthcare Voices of Courage 2023 awards live stream. The program starts about 29 minutes in. John Oliver speaks about 84 minutes in, but I think even he was struggling a bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luhRCw6ZgHA

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I am numb and so sad tonight. I am from South Carolina and have been down there fighting the good fight these last few months. What's just awful is that these men won't bring this up for a referendum, because they know that the majority of South Carolinians are supportive of abortion rights and supportive of health care for women. Women are now second class citizens in the south. How can I ever go back there?

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We're re not even second class citizens. We're not even chattel. We're real estate to generate free capital (babies) for the state.

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I am just so sorry. I don't even know what to say.

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I guess that if the goal is to drive Ob-Gyn’s out of the state, as well as many liberal voters, this is a good way to do it. 🤬

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It was always going to get bad. As soon as Roe was gone, it was always, always going to lead to this, to women losing their fertility and their lives and their autonomy. It's what the zealots have wanted for decades. We just have to keep at it, keep protesting, fight the battle state by state. And hopefully, hopefully, the despicable people pushing this cruelty will continue to go too far; we know they can't stop. Yes, women will die; yes, babies will be born to parents that can't take care of them and they will live hard lives in poverty and struggle, and yes, women's dreams and ambitions will be crushed. As soon as they shoved their handmaid onto the court, it was always going to come to this. But I have to have hope that it will outrage people who will turn out to vote in every election, until we have a Congress that will codify Roe and a SCOTUS that sees women as people deserving of rights again. But yes, it's going to get ugly.

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Well said. We did this before and we will do it again. Stay in the fight and don’t give up. I think of the ancestors that fought for voting rights, birth control and abortion. I stand on their shoulders and will not step down.

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Gutted

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That's now ten out of eleven former slave states. This is not a coincidence.

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They're not 'former' slave states anymore.

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Absolutely devastating - "...abortion access will be all but completely eradicated in the South" sent a chill down my spine.

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founding

Jesus. I don’t recognize my country anymore. I had no idea how many hateful people we lived among.

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May 24, 2023Liked by Jessica Valenti

I live in SC and have been watching this very closely. My husband and I sat and had a conversation with our 14 year old daughter and have decided, for her safety, to try and find a dr that with give her an IUD. My job is to keep my daughter safe.

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MD here. This is not medical advice, but I think it’s important to know that there are options to make IUD insertion easier and more comfortable: using a local anesthetic block (called a paracervical block), using misoprostol pre insertion to help the cervix soften as well as pre procedure pain meds (even ibuprofen can help). I know there are many doctors who don’t offer these things which really saddens me - it seems like a lot of people on this thread have had negative experiences. I hope you can find a provider that you can have a thorough conversation with that will also discuss these options for making insertion easier and more comfortable. Kyleena is a lower hormone IUD than Mirena and also a little smaller.

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Mine was super painful going in and also caused painful cramps for 7 months, until I had the doc remove it. They are not for everyone. I would have been incapable of both the insertion procedure and recognizing it wasn't settling right if I were that young. Everyone is different but I would have many convos about what is and is not acceptable pain.

Its impossible to imagine what I would do in your position but I think advance provision mifipristone would be high on the list as an option, as others have suggested. Hopefully you can get her out of Gilead for college. I'm so sorry this is happening.

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I'm sorry this is something you and your family are having to think through. My daughter is a toddler but we will be having these discussions with her way sooner than my parents did with me.

I'm an MD- I've had both an IUD and nexplanon. A body that has not gone through pregnancy has a much more painful experience getting an IUD placed (personal experience and patient experiences).

The arm implant (nexplanon) has low hormone output and tends to decrease #, and intensity, of menstrual periods, some lucky patients stop having a cycle at all. Terrific for pregnancy prevention and a pretty easy and quick procedure for placement and for removal, if done by a qualified and certified provider. Replaced at the end of 3 years and can put a new one in the same place as the old one during the same visit.

As always this should not be considered as medical advice and please talk to her pediatrician (if you feel comfortable to do so) or do a telemed visit with another doctor to discuss options, risks, benefits, etc. of all forms of birth control.

I currently have a nexplanon, now my 2nd one, and won't go back to IUD.

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If you and your daughter feel comfortable talking about sex maybe condoms as the birth control would be best, because there are no hormones and they have a great success rate when used properly. Also I'm so sorry, that is such a difficult talk to have with your daughter.

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I don’t think she’s worried about safe sex but situations out of her child’s control. Unfortunately our bodies are not our own and our rapists now have equal rights.

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Condoms are definitely the go to but now we have to take into consideration situations that are out of her control. If, God forbid, rape happens I doubt the guy is going to consider her feelings and put a condom on. I have two older daughters, late 20s and early 30s, and these conversations didn't have to be as extreme. Without abortion access, planning for the worst and hoping for the best seems like a safer option.

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I live in TX with a 16 yr old uterus owner and I went ahead and bought advance provisions from Aid Access for this very reason. Just Incase something horrible happens I can take care of it without more trauma inflicted on my child.

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The only safe option is to leave the state but I'm sure if that were viable for you you'd have done it already. Best of luck.

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Plan B does last 4 years on the shelf if you want to grab some of that before that gets banned as well. Yeah you should definitely plan for the worst and hope for the best.

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Let me jump on Amazon and get some plan B. Great suggestion, thank you!!

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AidAccess is also an option to buy abortion pills in advance. I bought some last year to keep in my medicine cabinet after Texas banned abortion.

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Every woman I know (I’m a healthcare professional) has told me they were very very uncomfortable getting one and one was crying about hers after I had recommended it for her. Be very aware of the trauma it seems to cause many women. Insist on a pain medication for her.

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with pain meds it can be okay. I had a lot of trouble getting mine out and ended up needing that evil procedure- a D and C to get the IUD out

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A patient of mine said her doctor told her that hers is “lost,” a serious problem. Also I wax thinking how a 14 yo would handle this compared to women in their 30’s. Most I’ve heard from have said their doctor refused them pain meds.

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Yikes 😬

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Thank you for this. I'm trying to find something with the least amount of hormones.

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Hi Allison- If birth control is the route that you decide to go, I would recommend that you look into nexplanon for your daughter. I am an NP and have personally done an insertion of nexplanon, which goes just under the skin in the upper arm after some local anesthetic is given, so is relatively painless. It is hormonal, but progestin only. To my knowledge, the only other thing you could get that would be non hormonal would be a copper IUD.

Also, I would like to think that there may be a chance that your state’s Supreme Court would block the ban as it had previously done earlier this year even. Fingers crossed for you and all of SC’s women who deserve better access to reproductive care and more respect!!!

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Mine was pretty painful. I wouldn't recommend it for girls that young. Maybe she should look into getting an implant instead. Implant was nice not having periods but it completely killed my libido which might be a good thing at that age.

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author

Jfc, I'm so sorry. That's a nightmare, but it sounds like you're doing the right thing

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It's unbelievable to me that I have to get my child, who isn't having sex yet, protection (just in case). I never wish bad things on anyone but if bad things have to happen, I hope it happens to all the voters families.

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