Rating the Anti-Abortion Movement's Biggest Creeps
And the award goes to ——
Still taking stock of the highlights and snubs of last night’s Grammy awards? At Abortion, Every Day, we’re handing out our own awards this week: the Creepies. We’re acknowledging, commemorating, and—most importantly—fact-checking the most insane remarks from anti-abortion leaders over the last year.
The unfortunate reality is that, without trying to be, anti-abortion leaders can often be quite funny. Don’t get me wrong—they’re terrifying, and their ideology is killing women. At the same time, the absurdity of some of their more outlandish comments about abortion are undeniably… *sigh* funny. Comedic gold. (We are talking about people who think abortion is polluting our water supplies and power grid!)
Now, without further ado…
We give Students for Life’s Kristi Hamrick 5 out of 5 glasses of abortion for her claim:
“Let me be clear: we are all drinking other people’s abortions in the wastewater.”
FACT CHECK: Nope! At AED, all year we’ve been tracking anti-abortion activists’ claims to care about the environment and clean water to justify demands for added restrictions on abortion pills. In reality, when the FDA approved mifepristone in 2000, it performed an environmental impact analysis and found mifepristone’s projected environmental concentration to be less than 1 part per billion (ppb)—which is to say, mifepristone isn’t causing any pollution whatsoever.
A lot of the next few honorees involve “abortion in the water” claims, so you might want to commit that stat to memory.
We give Oklahoma Rep. Dusty Deevers 4 out of 5 shrunken hypothalami for his claims that hormonal birth control is shrinking women’s brains:
“All hormonal birth control, every single one of them, causes the death of already conceived human beings. … Women on hormonal birth control have a hypothalamus thats’s 60% smaller and linked to increased… rate of suicide, and less sexual desire leading to less intercourse.”
FACT CHECK: Birth control is great! I actually, personally, think it’s made me smarter. Oh, and it also isn’t “causing the death of already conceived human beings” either.
We give Students for Life’s Kristan Hawkins 4 out of 5 abortion-flavored beers for her claim that,
“Even if you support abortion, that doesn’t mean you want to drink abortion water pollution.”
FACT CHECK: I repeat: “Abortion water pollution” isn’t a thing! See the above fact check.
We also give Hawkins 5 out of 5 abortion-powered light bulbs for her claim:
“In places like Baltimore, we know the dead bodies are being burned for energy, for clean, renewable energy to heat our homes. … Chemical abortions, we know women just flush down their babies, their blood that’s chemically tainted with active metabolites… They then enter our waste water system and harm our animals and aquatic life.”
FACT CHECK: I… have no idea what she’s talking about…? But, again: “Abortion water pollution”? Not. A. Thing.
Hawkins really had all the hits this year. We give her 5 out of 5 abortion-Nemos for this doozy of a quote:
“These known endocrine disruptors [in abortion pills] enter our waterways through the broken bodies of children and chemically tainted placenta, blood, and tissue. They go to our waste water systems… they are not erasing these drugs from our water, they’re actually present in our tap water. So they are affecting our downstream water that animals and fish use and rely on for their lives, and they’re actually making their ways into our tap.”
Sigh.
To viral TikTok preacher Millicent Sedra, we award you 4 out of 5 family Fido’s for his insane argument that people loving their dogs is somehow a radical, pro-choice act:
“I don’t have a problem with people that love their pets, I love my dogs. But I have a problem with people in a culture that treats dogs like their babies, but then think it’s OK to murder their own babies.”
FACT CHECK: Loving your family dog actually does not mean you support “murdering” “babies.” (Besides, I thought we were all supposed to be crazy cat ladies?)
And to Alabama Sen. Tommy Tuberville, 3 out of 5 woke, abortion Piggy banks, for his comments in support of military service members losing access to reproductive care:
“The Biden administration treated taxpayers like their own personal Piggy bank that they could use to bankroll their woke agenda. President Trump and Secretary Hegseth affirmed today what I’ve been fighting for since I got to Washington: zero taxpayer dollars should go towards abortions.”
FACT CHECK: I wish the Biden administration—or any presidential administration—operated a “woke agenda Piggy bank.” But alas, all the government does is fund war and anti-abortion crisis pregnancy centers.
And, finally: 3 out of 5 geriatric sperm for noted bro-natalist, Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr., who said this spring,
“Teenagers in this country have the same testosterone levels as 68-year-old men.”
FACT CHECK: Um, I would really, really rather not fact check this. But for the sake of #journalism, here’s what I came up with: Several studies in the last few years have, indeed, indicated declining sperm counts all over the world. But methods for counting sperm have changed drastically through the years, so we can’t really compare these numbers through generations. RFK’s comments come as his party, broadly, has pivoted from fear-mongering about the birth rate, to obsessing over children’s genitals and trying to defund teen pregnancy prevention programs. Totally normal stuff!
Well, those are some of the patently absurd anti-abortion quotes that stayed with us this year. What are your, err, favorites (?) from this year and years past?
Share with us in the comments! We look forward to collectively vomiting in disgust.
Love the awards. That is some scary stupid.
People so obsessed with others abortions that they have to make up outlandish claims deserve a blue ribbon for ignorance and a personalized dunce cap.