I’ve been struggling with what to say about the massacre in Georgia—a racist misogynist attack that was as horrific as it was predictable and preventable. So many people have written the most important bits—how sex work intersects with race and class, for example, or the sexual fetishization of Asian women.
But I couldn’t be silent, and I wanted to make sure we talked about women as “temptations,” and how America tells women it’s their responsibility to temper male sexual behavior. So I wrote this piece for The New York Times today; please read and share—and if folks want to sound off in comments, commiserate, whatever, please do.
Related: Most of you know by now that I’ll be donating ten percent of what I make from subscriptions to feminist organizations. Usually I’ll ask the community for recommendations, but this time around I’ve decided to donate to the National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum.
Your OpEd piece in the NYTimes lead me to you and your newsletter. How refreshing to find you, your insights and this group of aware women. At 75, although I am not a 'survivor or victim' in the traditional sense, I am a survivor of a 40 year marriage. I would add a few words to your opening questions. "How many women have to die (and/or suffer) from men's sexual issues?" Thank you.
How many fellow Gen-Xers can think of growing up with magazines devoted to helping us turn-on men, be sexy, etc.? As if the responsibility of our partner's sexual health is on us. Even as a teenager in the 90s (with NO helpful, productive conversations by educators or trusted family members, let alone media), I recall the myriad Cosmo, Glamour, Sassy articles that were all about how we are seductresses. What we were never told then and still aren't, is how to dissolve ourselves of any sense of blame for men's sexual issues and aggression related to them. Jessica, your words bring so much empowerment. You're such a gifted writer who devotes space to important topics. Very grateful for AiHH!