Just a quick thank you to everyone for being here and reading - the first week of All in Her Head had me *sweating* but the incredible outpouring of support (and subscriptions!) has been just amazing. So THANK YOU.
DON’T @ ME
I am doing my best not let anger get the better of me these days, but the pandemic and people being shitty throughout it are not making it easy! Take this enraging piece from Jessica Bennet at The New York Times about mothers trying to hold it together during Covid. How am I supposed to keep calm while so many women do it all as their husbands take literal naps (seriously, wait till you’re reading and get to husband Eddie)? I’ve written about this before, but it is baffling to me that we talk about “the pandemic” pushing moms out of the workforce when really it’s their lazy-ass partners.
Yes, yes - not all partners, not all dads. But let’s be real: Most of them. And until we start talking about this as a problem of men not doing their fair share - instead of women being overwhelmed - we’re not going to make progress.
WHAT I’M COOKING
Please forgive me for the less than wonderful picture, but this random dish I started cooking this year has quickly become my favorite: pan-fried fresh gnocchi with garlic, Calabrian chili, kale, butter and a splash of lemon juice (topped w/parm of course ). It is super quick to make, spicy in all the right ways, and I may or may not only make it for myself and let my family deal with their own dinner.
WHAT I’M EATING
My daughter Layla had an appointment near Industry City in Brooklyn, so I took that as a sign that I needed candy from Japan Village. Yes, that is sparkling wine flavored KitKats, and yes, the candy pictured is only 25% of the candy purchased.
WHO I’M READING
Moira Donegan on AOC’s remarkable Instagram live and what it tells us about vulnerability & accountability.
E. Alex Jung’s profile on Michaela Coel - it’s my third time reading, but if any profile is worth revisiting it’s this one.
Technically this is ‘listening’ but you shouldn’t miss the wonderful Soraya Nadia McDonald reading her essay “Wandering in Search of Wakanda” at LitHub.
CURRENT OBSESSION
Want to make a random man mad today? Wear some shoes he thinks are ugly. I am in love with these incredible neon Dansko clogs and every time I wear them a white man over 50 comments about how horrible they are. Sure, it may start with a stranger screaming across a parking lot that it would “hard to hide in those” - which is not creepy at all! Or maybe a half joking “ahh my eyes!” from the guy waiting on line at the bodega. But inevitably it all ends with irritation that you are not wearing appropriate footwear and comments that you are “ruining” your otherwise great outfit, or that you’ve “given up.”
All of which is to say, you should definitely buy them.
Make a Man Mad Today
Is it always a bad intention though? (Having said that I am sure you are right that sometimes there is aggro in the comments, especially if there is any flavour of "you have given up") I love commenting when people wear statement clothes and its more amusement not judging. Also semi-relatedly i had this guy friend in college who was really friendly to all the girls and most were all suspicious about his intentions but years into our friendship his mon told me he had a sister 2 yrs younger than him who died when she was a kid and i think all those young women at college misread the emotional vibe he gave off. Like we knew there was some kind of overintensity going on when he was friendly to us, but not what it was.
I bought these and made my *partner* mad so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ https://www.oofos.com/products/copy-of-womens-oocloog-limited-edition-clog-camo-green