Okay... have to say... I've often made the analogy in these comments, going back at least a year or so, of restricting our travel to preventing people in Utah from gambling in Vegas! My brain does work -- LOL !
Seriously, I've been so alarmed at the loss of democracy that I haven't kept up on the loss of our autonomy as much. I'm back. Energized by yesterday's wins. And now going to get on Instagram and get my three kids to follow Jessica and spread the word about the anti's online efforts. We have to keep fighting. It works. It works. It works. I've been out protesting in NJ, on overpasses, at rallies, bumper stickers on my car calling Musk a liar. Yup ! Taking nothing for granted in this blue state.
Sent small donations to Booker and to Marc Elias's Democracy Forward -- the law group that's been helping to stop Trump's fascist moves. Will donate to the GA orgs next.
Thanks as always Jessica for being the lamplighter in this fight. I also would like to thank you for your humor ("King Incel Elon Musk").
I vote for a "Meet the Creeps" section.
To quote you, "Please tell me why when asked about the thing that keeps him up at night, Musk answered the declining birth rate? You know what keeps me up at night? The rise of pro-natalist maniacs."
I'm so excited that Susan Crawford won! I need to catch up on your posts. They get me all riled up and I was dealing with other stuff and didn't want to get riled up even more. So, now I'm ready to re-engage and I started up my substack again which is basically focused on abortion and Virginia elections. Thank you for all that you do, Jessica. I'm trying to get my girls and nieces to share your posts and your videos.
I too saw the banning of birth control coming the moment Roe v Wade was overturned. I am going to show my feelings about that on Saturday, when I go to Berlin with a group from my local Democrats Abroad group in Northern Germany and join the Hands Off Rally planned in front of the US Embassy at 2 pm CET.
There will be Hands Off rallies in countries around the world. Here are the ones posted on the Democrats Abroad website. Please share this with friends in other countries.
Thank you for the GoFundMe link. Something positive to focus on for a minute. The attacks on PP really hit the hardest. I personally owe so much to them. They helped get me through my uninsured college years as someone with endometriosis. I didn’t know then of course what was wrong and it took 12+ years and many doctors for a diagnosis. Women’s healthcare is underfunded and under researched. We desperately need big change!
This story from Georgia is so horrifying there is actually a Snopes about it. That tells you that people are completely fucking clueless what the women hating agenda is out to do. Completely. Fucking. Clueless. And the media isn't doing shit. $100 Selena is not a pretty young blonde girl. Any takers??
UGH they are creeps!! What heartens me is children raised by natalist incel creeps have a mind of their own, like Musk’s own daughter Vivian who has been roasting him in the press. I worry for her given how young she is and wish her safety and mental well being. But having grown up in a fundie culture similar to the very scary Quiverfulls, raising girls in that culture is a great way to radicalize them leftward, slightly defeating their intended purpose.
As always, heart breaks for those harmed and many thanks to Jessica for wading through the sadness to share the stories we need to know.
Thx for posting the go fund me site. Less importantly, I'd hoped to get a haircut before meeting you in Portland but it's not to be. How glorious to have an irrelevant worry!
Thank you for you unremitting focus on women's health. I am in awe. I am distracted by the imminent death of our Democratic Experiment, but I still want to keep up this fight.
Regarding Women being too "emotional": As a trans woman who takes estrogen, I have some anecdotal insight into my emotional state (which is, as I said, anecdotal).
As soon as my egg cracked (which is trans lingo for "realized I was trans"), I came out to other trans people I knew, since they would've understood the most. I then came out to my mother and my sister. My mother couldn't believe it at first, but it took a few days and she accepts me fully for who I am. My sister is a medical doctor, and when I told her I wanted to start hormone replacement therapy, she reminded me that she had a wedding coming up and I then made the decision to start my regimen the day after her wedding because I had no idea how estrogen would affect my behavior, which can be erratic and volatile. I *really* didn't want to ruin her wedding! Well, the wedding day came, and my sister not only said I didn't ruin her wedding but I *enhanced* it!
So I started taking estrogen pills the next day. My anniversary for starting HRT (or "tranniversary" as some of us in the trans community are wont to call it) is a little over a month from now. And having been on Estrogen this entire time I can say with certainty that my emotions have become far more in control than before I started HRT. I have experience in being both a "man" and a woman and I can say with experience that I'm less emotional as a woman.*
*there are other factors, such as being more comfortable as a woman than as a man may improve my mental health rather than the overall health of women of all types, cis and trans alike, and for the third time, this is an anecdote, but my point is, I'm generally happier and less emotional than pre-transition.
To be honest, I didn’t feel like I had to jump through many hoops where I am in NYC, if at all. I went to Callen-Lorde, which is a medical clinic and pharmacy serving the LGBTQIA+ community in NYC. There was no gatekeeping there at *all*. Also, people don’t seem to have an animus towards me in NYC. They may accidentally misgender me, but I can deal with it. The anti-sexual-harassment and anti-discrimination laws in NYC are strict and they cover gender identity (including people who are trans and non-binary!). Medicaid pays for my Gender-affirming care, to which my autism entitles me.
Like I said, I feel extremely accepted where I am here.
I think you're right that the transition is probably the bigger factor, but, anecdotally, as a cis man, I definitely think women are the sex better in control of their emotions. Socialization is probably a factor (women are more expected to keep others happy than think of themselves, compared to the expectations or lack thereof on men), but I also think testosterone is a dangerous and volatile substance, and I think you see that with most other animals too. It looks to me like a case of men projecting their own weaknesses or failings onto women; it's gaslighting and it's coercive control, but being a tool to uphold patriarchy, it seems to be the norm across most human societies.
Glad that it sounds like your transition is going well, and sorry that so many in this country are so hateful right now. Stay safe.
Thank you. For both your insight and your well wishes.
EDIT: That being said, I'm going to have to disagree with one thing you said:
> I also think testosterone is a dangerous and volatile substance
If that's the case then we'd see the same behaviors with trans men. I think it's not the testosterone that makes men dangerous but the patriarchal privilege that's granted to them. If men were marginalized like women are do you think masculinity would be so toxic? I don't think so.
Idk, good question. I could be wrong about that and socialization could be even more powerful than I think. It's just my own sense from my own experience and observation. Either way it certainly seems to me that men have been demonstrated to be a dangerous group to give privilege to, and idk whether that could or would be true of women too, and maybe there's not a good way to test that because the world is a patriarchy.
Okay... have to say... I've often made the analogy in these comments, going back at least a year or so, of restricting our travel to preventing people in Utah from gambling in Vegas! My brain does work -- LOL !
Seriously, I've been so alarmed at the loss of democracy that I haven't kept up on the loss of our autonomy as much. I'm back. Energized by yesterday's wins. And now going to get on Instagram and get my three kids to follow Jessica and spread the word about the anti's online efforts. We have to keep fighting. It works. It works. It works. I've been out protesting in NJ, on overpasses, at rallies, bumper stickers on my car calling Musk a liar. Yup ! Taking nothing for granted in this blue state.
Sent small donations to Booker and to Marc Elias's Democracy Forward -- the law group that's been helping to stop Trump's fascist moves. Will donate to the GA orgs next.
Thank you Jessica. You are a hero.
Thanks as always Jessica for being the lamplighter in this fight. I also would like to thank you for your humor ("King Incel Elon Musk").
I vote for a "Meet the Creeps" section.
To quote you, "Please tell me why when asked about the thing that keeps him up at night, Musk answered the declining birth rate? You know what keeps me up at night? The rise of pro-natalist maniacs."
Great Jessica.
forgot to link to my substack. https://substack.com/home/post/p-160369096
I'm so excited that Susan Crawford won! I need to catch up on your posts. They get me all riled up and I was dealing with other stuff and didn't want to get riled up even more. So, now I'm ready to re-engage and I started up my substack again which is basically focused on abortion and Virginia elections. Thank you for all that you do, Jessica. I'm trying to get my girls and nieces to share your posts and your videos.
Yay to Susan Crawford in Wisconsin! Way to go, Your Honor. A win for Democracy. She'll be busy on the bench.
Results reported in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/politics/elections/2025/03/31/wisconsin-supreme-court-2025-election-results/82750923007/
I too saw the banning of birth control coming the moment Roe v Wade was overturned. I am going to show my feelings about that on Saturday, when I go to Berlin with a group from my local Democrats Abroad group in Northern Germany and join the Hands Off Rally planned in front of the US Embassy at 2 pm CET.
There will be Hands Off rallies in countries around the world. Here are the ones posted on the Democrats Abroad website. Please share this with friends in other countries.
Berlin, Germany https://www.democratsabroad.org/347793/hands_off_rally_in_berlin
Portugal https://www.democratsabroad.org/krup/hands_off_mass_mobilization
Cape Town, South Africa https://www.democratsabroad.org/lizoleary/hands_off_cape_town
Johannesburg, South Africa https://www.democratsabroad.org/lizoleary/hands_off_johannesburg
Toulouse, France https://www.democratsabroad.org/scottstroud/hands_off_protest_rally_on_april_5th
Lyon, France https://www.democratsabroad.org/212355/hands_off_our_democracy_rally_in_lyon
Nice, France
https://www.democratsabroad.org/ronny/hands_off_protest_in_nice_on_april_5th_dayvgemwhgl9au3gnwbj2w
Guadalajara, Mexico https://www.democratsabroad.org/brigit/hands_off_rally_in_guadalajara
Ajijic, Mexico https://www.democratsabroad.org/312781/hands_off
Toronto, Canada https://www.democratsabroad.org/juliabuchanan/hands_off_protest-toronto
Thank you for the GoFundMe link. Something positive to focus on for a minute. The attacks on PP really hit the hardest. I personally owe so much to them. They helped get me through my uninsured college years as someone with endometriosis. I didn’t know then of course what was wrong and it took 12+ years and many doctors for a diagnosis. Women’s healthcare is underfunded and under researched. We desperately need big change!
This story from Georgia is so horrifying there is actually a Snopes about it. That tells you that people are completely fucking clueless what the women hating agenda is out to do. Completely. Fucking. Clueless. And the media isn't doing shit. $100 Selena is not a pretty young blonde girl. Any takers??
UGH they are creeps!! What heartens me is children raised by natalist incel creeps have a mind of their own, like Musk’s own daughter Vivian who has been roasting him in the press. I worry for her given how young she is and wish her safety and mental well being. But having grown up in a fundie culture similar to the very scary Quiverfulls, raising girls in that culture is a great way to radicalize them leftward, slightly defeating their intended purpose.
As always, heart breaks for those harmed and many thanks to Jessica for wading through the sadness to share the stories we need to know.
10k. Ugh. That’s all the GoFundMe has raised. That hardly buys a day of legal services. Give if you can.
up to $14k now!
Thx for posting the go fund me site. Less importantly, I'd hoped to get a haircut before meeting you in Portland but it's not to be. How glorious to have an irrelevant worry!
I'm *soooo* lucky to call Jessica Valenti my neighbor!
Thank you for you unremitting focus on women's health. I am in awe. I am distracted by the imminent death of our Democratic Experiment, but I still want to keep up this fight.
Regarding Women being too "emotional": As a trans woman who takes estrogen, I have some anecdotal insight into my emotional state (which is, as I said, anecdotal).
As soon as my egg cracked (which is trans lingo for "realized I was trans"), I came out to other trans people I knew, since they would've understood the most. I then came out to my mother and my sister. My mother couldn't believe it at first, but it took a few days and she accepts me fully for who I am. My sister is a medical doctor, and when I told her I wanted to start hormone replacement therapy, she reminded me that she had a wedding coming up and I then made the decision to start my regimen the day after her wedding because I had no idea how estrogen would affect my behavior, which can be erratic and volatile. I *really* didn't want to ruin her wedding! Well, the wedding day came, and my sister not only said I didn't ruin her wedding but I *enhanced* it!
So I started taking estrogen pills the next day. My anniversary for starting HRT (or "tranniversary" as some of us in the trans community are wont to call it) is a little over a month from now. And having been on Estrogen this entire time I can say with certainty that my emotions have become far more in control than before I started HRT. I have experience in being both a "man" and a woman and I can say with experience that I'm less emotional as a woman.*
*there are other factors, such as being more comfortable as a woman than as a man may improve my mental health rather than the overall health of women of all types, cis and trans alike, and for the third time, this is an anecdote, but my point is, I'm generally happier and less emotional than pre-transition.
Hi Leah, I’m guessing ? you may be aware but ErinInTheMorning is a great Substack to follow.
https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/anti-trans-national-risk-assessment?
I’m a subscriber and have been since even before I knew I was trans!
I'm so happy for you, that you can be your best self! And tranniversary sounds like a lovely celebration. Welcome! ❤️
Thank you so much! I feel like I’m in a better self since I started transitioning!
I admire your bravery in jumping through all the hoops to just be yourself, much love and good things to you.
To be honest, I didn’t feel like I had to jump through many hoops where I am in NYC, if at all. I went to Callen-Lorde, which is a medical clinic and pharmacy serving the LGBTQIA+ community in NYC. There was no gatekeeping there at *all*. Also, people don’t seem to have an animus towards me in NYC. They may accidentally misgender me, but I can deal with it. The anti-sexual-harassment and anti-discrimination laws in NYC are strict and they cover gender identity (including people who are trans and non-binary!). Medicaid pays for my Gender-affirming care, to which my autism entitles me.
Like I said, I feel extremely accepted where I am here.
That is great to hear. I wish everyone else was as fortunate. I live in FL which is bigot central.
I completely understand. My sister lives in Miami and now wants to—and is planning to move to—Philadelphia.
I think you're right that the transition is probably the bigger factor, but, anecdotally, as a cis man, I definitely think women are the sex better in control of their emotions. Socialization is probably a factor (women are more expected to keep others happy than think of themselves, compared to the expectations or lack thereof on men), but I also think testosterone is a dangerous and volatile substance, and I think you see that with most other animals too. It looks to me like a case of men projecting their own weaknesses or failings onto women; it's gaslighting and it's coercive control, but being a tool to uphold patriarchy, it seems to be the norm across most human societies.
Glad that it sounds like your transition is going well, and sorry that so many in this country are so hateful right now. Stay safe.
Thank you. For both your insight and your well wishes.
EDIT: That being said, I'm going to have to disagree with one thing you said:
> I also think testosterone is a dangerous and volatile substance
If that's the case then we'd see the same behaviors with trans men. I think it's not the testosterone that makes men dangerous but the patriarchal privilege that's granted to them. If men were marginalized like women are do you think masculinity would be so toxic? I don't think so.
Idk, good question. I could be wrong about that and socialization could be even more powerful than I think. It's just my own sense from my own experience and observation. Either way it certainly seems to me that men have been demonstrated to be a dangerous group to give privilege to, and idk whether that could or would be true of women too, and maybe there's not a good way to test that because the world is a patriarchy.
Fair enough. And thank you for this conversation.
How will Trump defunding Planned Parenthood women’s healthcare hurt you? Check the Casualty Map.
https://thedemlabs.org/2025/04/01/trump-defunds-planned-parenthood-title-x/
Thank you for frequently adding resources for us to access. I appreciate them!