Enough of 'Just Asking Questions'
Platforming extremists is killing democracy—and women
A few months ago, I got a request from Diary of a CEO—the massively popular podcast wanted me to participate in a roundtable discussion about whether feminism “delivered on its promise of liberation for women.” I would join two other women, they said, for a “balanced and insightful discussion.”
I’ll admit, it was tempting: the show boasts an audience of millions. But a quick Google search revealed that the other panelists were anti-feminists who posted videos with titles like, “This feminist lie is harming young women!” and “Why are feminists against motherhood?”
So I declined. Because despite the producer’s promise that this would be a “respectful dialogue,” the premise of this show—and a growing number of shows like it—is that our rights are up for debate. That it’s reasonable to ask whether women’s equality is a mistake.
They’d never put it that way, of course. The podcasts, YouTube shows, and online debates instead say they’re hearing people out, just asking questions, or—my personal favorite—hosting diverse viewpoints.
That’s what The Atlantic’s editor, Jeffrey Goldberg, said in 2018 when he hired a writer who argued women who have abortions should be executed by hanging. He called Kevin Williamson’s views on abortion patients a “controversial aspect” of an otherwise “ideologically interesting” career. As if Williamson was calling for lowering the minimum wage rather than executing 25% of American women.
Looking back, I can see it was a turning point—a warning sign of how easily women’s humanity could be dismissed as a thought exercise, especially when it comes to abortion. Goldberg didn’t consider that The Atlantic’s female staffers would have to work next to a man who wanted to see them hung, nor did he acknowledge the very real and deadly history of anti-abortion violence in this country.
It was a stark reminder that to many men in power, nebulous ideas about ‘public discourse’ are far more valuable than women’s actual lives and freedom.
That casual dehumanization has accelerated rapidly since the end of Roe. Everywhere you look, there are ‘conversations’ and ‘debates’ about our rights, with pundits and networks lining up to host dangerous extremists under the guise of “thought-provoking” journalism. Just this month, I watched a CNN reporter interview a group of Christian nationalists who want to repeal women’s right to vote.
I’m sure the producers would argue that it’s important to shine a light on misogynist extremism—and I agree. But there’s a difference between reporting on toxic bigotry and platforming it.
CNN treated these men as serious people worthy of serious questions, hand-delivering them legitimacy in the process. By running the segment, CNN not only sent the message that these misogynists are worth hearing out—but that stripping women of their right to vote is an idea worthy of discussion and debate.
The men even got some free book promo: a close-up shot of one of the titles from their publishing house. Canon Press was so excited that they launched a “CNN sale” and book giveaway to celebrate. Doug Wilson, the pastor at the center of the report, was similarly thrilled. He made a video thanking CNN for the ample airtime, calling the segment “a blessing.”
Here’s a good rule of thumb: Critical reporting on bigotry shouldn’t leave bigots delighted.
And please, spare me the missives on free speech. People can say what they want, but no one is entitled to be heard.
The only thing worse than misogynists being platformed under the auspices of serious journalism is watching that extremism repackaged as entertainment. There’s an entire cottage industry dedicated to engineering viral political confrontations—whether it’s a conservative pundit ‘debating’ teenagers on college campuses, or a single progressive sat in a room with 20 far-right extremists and told to make their case. (The video I’m thinking of in that latter example—published by online powerhouse Jubilee—racked up over 11 million views.)
Much like mainstream outlets that platform extremists, these videos aim to make viewers believe they’re engaging in something intelligent. Jubilee even brands itself with the tagline, “provoke understanding and create human connection.” But the point of videos like “Flat-Earthers vs. Scientists” or “Is Modern Day Feminism Dangerous?” isn’t connection or understanding—it’s clicks, cash, and, above all, a conservative distortion of reality.
They’re carefully creating a world where flat-earthers are just as credible as scientists, where women’s humanity is just another political talking point, and—most importantly to those in the radical minority—where ‘both sides’ are not only equally credible, but equally representative of America.
That’s why misogynists are thrilled to go on CNN even when it sparks backlash, and why conservatives push these viral video formats, despite the fact that liberals tend to come across as smarter and more empathetic. They’re not trying to change minds; they’re trying to trick Americans into believing that their deeply unpopular policies actually have the country evenly divided.
What better way to hide the fact that you’re passing laws voters don’t really want?
Take abortion rights: 81% of Americans don’t want the government involved in abortion at all, but Republicans have successfully cemented the lie that voters are split on the issue. That fiction allows anti-abortion lobbyists and lawmakers to pose as simply one side of a controversial debate, rather than a powerful few imposing their will on a horrified vast majority.
When media outlets platform extremists, they’re advancing that lie—and helping conservatives undermine democracy along the way.
Unfortunately, this right-wing media strategy is working: they’re making the fringe minority look like half the country, and tricking the overwhelmed majority into believing they have to engage in bad-faith debates in order to be heard by American voters. They have us spending precious activist energy and resources trying to change hearts and minds that we don’t need, and fighting for the attention of people who will never be on our side.
Now, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strategically engage—we must. But while we’re out there debating podcast bros or just hearing people out, conservatives are zeroing in on the heart of abortion rights’ support: young women.
They’ve spent years creating a ‘pink pill’ pipeline, pouring millions into a cultural campaign designed to convince young women they’d be happier back in the kitchen—forgoing birth control, jobs, and any real sense of autonomy. And this isn’t just a handful of tradwives on the internet’s fringes. We’re talking about influencers with audiences in the tens of millions—reinforced by a steady drip of retrograde misogyny seeping into pop culture. Just a few weeks ago, Jimmy Fallon’s musical guest was the young singer Jessie Murph, who performed her song, 1965:
“I think I'd give up a few rights, if you’d just love me like it’s 1965....I might get a little slap-slap, but you wouldn't hit me on Snapchat.”
We’re supposed to believe the song is harmless satire. Just like we’re supposed to believe it’s ‘subversive’ that Sabrina Carpenter’s new album cover features the singer on her knees, a man dragging her by the hair. (The album name? Man’s Best Friend.) When Republicans ‘joked’ about repealing women’s right to vote in November 2024, we were meant to believe that was all in good fun, too.
But what’s happening to women in this country isn’t satire, entertainment, or a thought exercise.
The same week that CNN gave airtime to Christian nationalists fantasizing about disenfranchising women, Missouri Republicans were working to overturn Amendment 3—the abortion rights ballot measure voters passed in November. In fact, Republicans across the country are either trying to overturn pro-choice initiatives that didn’t go their way or rewriting the rules of democracy to block new ones from ever reaching the ballot.
They don’t need to joke about stripping women of their votes, women are being stripped of their votes.
And in the nearly three minutes it took Jessie Murph to sing about the “good old days” of 1965, about 75 people in the U.S. were victims of sexual or domestic violence. Not statistics, not characters in a song or movie, but real people with real bruises and real trauma.
Our suffering isn’t imaginary, and conservative laws don’t exist in the ether—they’re etched onto our bodies with septic miscarriages, lost fallopian tubes, and emergency hysterectomies. If we’re lucky. Women are dying and Republicans are, quite literally, killing us.
Oh—and that podcast episode that I declined to appear on? It came out a few weeks ago with a different guest. They titled it: “Has modern feminism betrayed the very women it promised to empower?”
I do feel betrayed. But not by feminism.
It is maddening to watch Christian Nationalist theocracy be forced on American women in broad daylight, and we can't even call it that.
So well expressed. Stop giving oxygen to these haters and to the shows/pods etc that platform them. Thank you for being principled when media just exploits the hell out of women and girls.